hello, all. i've been thinking about something and thought i'd run it by all of you and get some feedback. a little background info: i'm 27, female, have been a long-time supporter of LGBT rights & equality but have only recently come to realize/accept that i myself am pansexual. i'm also currently in a ~4 year relationship with my male partner. the issue: while i am not in any particular hurry to come out of my closet as i don't see my sexual attraction as anyone's business but my partner's and i'm obviously not out to find a partner, i would like to be much more active in the LGBT community and in fighting for equality. to this end, i've just bought some LGBT pride bracelets on Etsy.com (best. site. ever.). more specifically a rainbow bracelet, a bisexuality bracelet and i've custom ordered a pansexuality bracelet. i intend to wear them interchangeably or all together. i realize that in wearing these bracelets i will probably be passively coming out of the closet because while i won't be going out of my way to sit people down and talk to them, if they ask me why i'm wearing the bracelets i won't hesitate to tell them. the question: do you think that coming out in this way could be a bad thing...? that it could backfire in some way? i mean, it's one things to come out to random strangers like that, but to the people that matter it's different, right? and when i say "the people that matter", this excludes my family and just includes my partner's family and my/our friends. my extremely religious family lives in another country and i have no intention to come out to them at this point. on the other hand, my partner's family is open minded, so i don't think they'll take it poorly. sorry this post ended up being so long. :icon_redf i appreciate any and all comments, opinions and/or suggestions on the matter. thanks!
Curlycats, Over the past year, as I have become more and more comfortable with my own sexuality (I am gay), I have also become more comfortable with the idea of coming out to some of my friends and co-workers. While I haven't actually come out to anyone yet (except for a counsellor in a support group that I am joining next month, but that is a different story), I have begun to dress much more flamboyantly over the last several months. Brighter colors, matching shoe laces, a touch of jewelry, etc. I think like you and your pride bracelets, I am taking a somewhat passive approach to coming out by inviting those around me to notice my new confidence and exuberance. So far no one has asked me anything, however most of the girls at work have commented on my new found style, they think I look cool, go figure. I think that coming out is such an individual thing, that there really isn't anything wrong with whatever approach you take. As long as you come to the process with honesty and good intentions I would do whatever feels right for you. I suppose that at some point you do have to stop dropping hints and simply tell someone, but that should be on your timetable. I hope I didn't ramble too much, and that this helps in some way.
I truly thing that is a great idea, i have been wearing a rainbow bracelet just a suddal (cant spell well) hint and i intend to make more. i actually made the rainbow bracelet i have now without even realizing it, just sorta picked a few colors before i even thought i might be gay. So now I'm going to answer truthfully if anyone asks but probably not going to publicly announce it.
I think for your parner and (maybe) his family you should do the "sit people down and talk to" thing. I just don't think its right for them to find out by noticing a cetain piece of jewelery you are wearing. For everyone else, go for it!
thank you, everyone, for your comments. much appreciated! hmmm... maybe i'm underestimating just how "taboo" the topic of LGBT is with a lot of people, because i'm kind of surprised that not even a single person has asked you anything. i know i shouldn't be surprised, but somehow i am. :eusa_doh: thinking more about it now, i actually don't just want to drop hints or make a statement to people, i actually want to encourage them to start up a conversation with me re: LGBT and equality. oh well, one step at a time, right? and yeah, there will definitely have to be a point where i sit down and tell certain people even if they don't approach me about the bracelets, but it'll be when i'm ready to have that kind of convo. thanks a lot for your post, you definitely weren't rambling. it's good to know that i'm not the only one taking a passive approach to it. awesome! i hope things go well for both of us. about telling my partner, i couldn't agree more. i sat down with my partner and explained it to him as soon as i'd found the words to, but it just seems really... awkward doing anything similar with his parents and/or siblings.
I have noticed all women prefer men to dress well...clean yes no greese on tshirt...but even better put together will attract not just gay men but make women want straight men to dress same. Sad its not a requirement in culture all men and women dress good. (Ps my worst clothing thing is im a pedestrian so my shoes are muddy. ) ---------- Post added 23rd Dec 2012 at 01:29 AM ---------- I not see any reason to tell anybody anything if you are dating. Point be what? Now if you you were transgender and wanting to change your body a lot that woulda been a different story! But just being able to date any nice person seems irrelevant right now. Just show support for other Queers at events and if it comes up say your a happily dating pansexual.
what's the point...? there are plenty of reasons for anyone to come out of the closet, only one of which is to find a partner. for me, the biggest reason is that i'm proud to be pansexual (and bisexual) and i want to stand up and fight against bi-invisibility, monosexism and general inequality. fighting for these things and showing ones pride isn't just a matter of participating in queer events.
