I just quit a game called Secondlife. It's basically a 3d chat room where you have a character and you can build stuff and own things and actually make and spend real money! It's pretty cool, but I had an unhealthy addiction and some unhealthy drama going on. It was the only place before this forum (not kidding) where I really explored my sexuality. Actually, it's still the only place I feel comfortable, I've felt very uncomfortable sharing here at EC but I've been forcing myself, logically I know this is a good place. I've been doing fine staying away, but then the subject came up with an online friend of mine and suddenly the cravings for that safe place began, it was the only place I could talk about or sometimes even think about this stuff because, silly as it is, I felt like it was the male character on screen thinking and speaking and not me. Anyway, one click and it's downloaded back onto my computer. It's the middle of the night and I have no where to run! Game addiction isn't a small thing, so I feel like it would be a real set back! Help! :help:
I can say from a personal experience that game addiction is worse than nicotine or alcohol addiction because it's 100% psychological. I took me 2 years to get over it, and it wasn't easy. :S But no matter how much you want to go back, just don't. The most important thing at this point is to find other things that'll keep you occupied. Y'know, hobbies, people, etc. And who knows, maybe after a few moths you don't even want to go back. :/
Thank you Wild Poodle, I think I'm out of the woods for today. That game used to be my only outlet for exploring these certain parts of myself, but I'm trying to compensate for that by coming here! Are psychological addictions worse than physical ones? I've never had a serious physical addiction unless you count caffeine =/
I know someone who had a serious SecondLife addiction. So much so that she totally neglected her toddler, lost her job, and was completely irresponsible. The addiction is certainly real, and process addictions (as gaming addictions are classed) can be challenging. But as you point out, one of the best things you can do is replace it with something healthier. EC is a good substitute (at least for now) because it can help you actively deal with the main issue. You may also want to explore a 12 step program or other approach to deal with the addiction. The social interaction and mentor/sponsor support can be really helpful in maintaining sobriety from gaming. And you can (as you're doing) ask the EC community to help hold you accountable. One of the best ways to do that is to commit to being completely honest here about what's going on with the temptations so you can have support when you're feeling the urge to go back to the unhealthy behaviors. Hope this helps.
If you have a webcam and the ability to fake arousal, yes. I was a foot fetish cam girl, I got paid around $30 a session (I did maybe 1 or 2 a month) there was no nudity on my part, but if you can go further, you can make a lot more money. In the past, people made money off secondlife from buying and selling virtual real estate but the markets for that, items, and even the sex trade have gone down a lot, so now only the cammers make anything, sadly. ---------- Post added 15th Jul 2014 at 04:33 AM ---------- It does, thank you... I have people telling me that I just need to learn when to play and when to quit, so I gave the alcoholism example (which I hate doing) I don't think it got through. I would love to be able to play but, and this is harder to admit than having been a webcam foot girl (I'm actually kinda proud of that one >.>) I've been putting off school for over a year, and I believe secondlife is directly related to that. Whenever I felt bad about not being in school yet, I just played secondlife and forgot about it for the next 10 hours >.<
Yeah, people underestimate the dangers of gaming addiction.. In my case it got so bad that I was administered on a psych ward for a few months. It was BAD, but after a long therapy I got over it and now I'm doing just fine. And yes, it was harder than my nicotine and alcohol addictions combined, because the virtual world is a place, and you can get stuck there. Just, please don't go through what I went through. Wasn't fun. Good luck (*hug*)
Thank you for sharing your experience, I don't think it could get that bad (maybe it's a bad sign I even think that?) and... I have to work today and it's almost 7 o'clock in the morning and I am on this forum... so maybe the problem isn't solved, but the drama and money spending problem sure is! Lol Thanks so much.
I know your problem with game addiction lol. I've quit World of Warcraft 4 times now and i've just gone back onto it and i missed a whole week of gym because of it, i left my byofriends house early to play it even though i said i needed to be back for a different reason and i'm cancelling things that i need to do just to play it. Its bad but i know i'll get bored soon, its just a phase for me.
Yeah... I also noticed I was thinking about secondlife when I was out with my friends, and I would also want to leave my friends early and even adjusted my work schedule to take care of secondlife responsibilities. That's why I think it's a little bit more complicated than "just learning moderation" as I've been told =/ WoW is like, magical quests and things, right? It isn't like secondlife that's basically just a fancy chatroom where you build stuff and role play.
No, we have 2 different addictions, my addiction is the fact i just enjoy playing it and keeping myself pre-occupied and i put things out of the way to play it. Yours is more personal, you actually use it as a SECOND LIFE. You're being who you WANT to be on there and you wish you could substitute it for your real life. I get what it is but you just have to find that healthy balance of them both and you need to realise that it is NOT and WILL NEVER BE your actual life. You will feel a lot better i think if you tried to bring your Second Life persona into the real world. Tell a friend about your orientation..... trust someone, it helps so much.
I agree with Greeley, WoW has been a great escape for me but its more a tool of procrastination and a addiction based on time and putting things off rather then hiding or submersing into another space. I think a healthy balance is the best idea too, I love my online gaming but I can't let uni or my social relationships suffer over something like a game. I think I just back up what Greeley thinks in that when you tell someone in your first life, your second one won't be as appealing anymore and you may enjoy the first more with someone to properly talk to, that could also expand into telling more people and telling family, finding real relationships? The end game is far better in real life then in games.
With process addictions such as Budweiser is describing (and it definitely falls into the addiction category, given the intrusive thoughts when he's out in the real world), moderation (healthy balance) is generally not an option. This has to do with neurotransmitter pathways in the brain and the activity on SecondLife essentially stimulating release of those neurotransmitters. Some people can moderate, in the same way that most people can moderate alcohol use. But some cannot, and for those, completely avoiding the addicting behavior is the only choice.
Well you can talk and talk about your sexuality here on this site as much as you like and it doesn't cost you a cent! Doesn't that sound like a better alternative? Have you talked to any professional for any type of advice whatsoever?
Hee hee first step is figuring out what orientation is it I have ;P then maybe I can.. do drag? ---------- Post added 15th Jul 2014 at 11:26 PM ---------- Games can make it much harder to find people in real life, because the people in the games become as important as anybody you met face to face so it's easy to believe you're not really missing anything. =/ ---------- Post added 15th Jul 2014 at 11:29 PM ---------- Your answers Chip, are always very impressive You're obviously a very smart, educated individual and I appreciate you taking the time to write to me. Although, I really wish there was a way to have moderation here, I think you are right that there is no choice, and I don't know if there ever will be one. Thank you again! ---------- Post added 15th Jul 2014 at 11:33 PM ---------- Well, although it's nice to have somewhere specifically to talk about those sort of things instead of having to find a way to bring it up after finding the right person to talk to... just talking about it isn't really doing it. I used to be able to live it, in a way. I had more going on than just the sexuality thing but it is thinking of that, and my wonderful characters, that really makes me want to go back. And I'm sure we'd all love to talk to professionals about some area of our lives, but unless someone wants to pay for that it isn't very practical for most people ;P
