So I had to take my Google Nexus 7 (16gb) back into Harvey Norman a few weeks ago because it wasn't charging. My dad decided to come with me (I really didn't want him to) to make sure it all went 'smoothly'. Being the open-minded, understanding person that I am (sorry if that sounded a little self indulging), I was more than willing to wait a couple of weeks for the tablet to be sent off & looked at, so long as it was returned to me in a working order. I honestly didn't care if it came back to me refurbished or brand new, I'm not that material. I just wanted a working device! My dad wouldn't have it. He started yelling in store about how we weren't going to leave until I was given a brand new, functioning tablet. He seems to think yelling & kicking up a storm always gets his way. The manager eventually came out (Emilio), but it still ended up in the tablet having to be sent off for further inspection. I was fine with this; I knew that that was going to be the case because the protocol at Harvey Norman was different to some of the other stores my dad shopped at. When we finally left, dad had to go to the supermarket so I took the opportunity to call Emilio (the manager) and apologise for my dad's unwarranted behaviour. It was Christmas Eve & so I felt really sorry for the kind of treatment he received; no-one deserves that kind of treatment on the day before Christmas. Anyway, he was super happy that I called. So I got a call this morning from Emilio. He told me that he managed to pull a few strings and that he was sending me a brand new, 32GB tablet probably today or tomorrow. I'm super happy about this & I told my dad, but here's the awkward part. My dad thinks his behaviour is what warranted this kind of kind gesture. WRONG. I didn't tell my dad, but I called Emilio and apologised to him. Now my dad's walking around & beating his chest about how superior he is and how that kind of behaviour is acceptable. I feel so fucking angry right now, I can't even begin to explain. :tantrum:
Yeah that sounds like a pretty tricky situation...if your dad's really starting to bother you with the way he's acting, maybe you should just tell him the truth about you calling Emilio to apologize...or you would be afraid of how your father would react?
Not afraid, I just don't want to hurt his feelings. Yelling never solves any problems. I put it up there with war to be honest. I find that being kind & understanding is leaps and bounds more productive than getting into an argument with someone. I really don't want him to keep thinking like the way he is; it isn't healthy. In fact, he just texted me saying "It's amazing what a bit of jumping up & down will do" URGHHHHH.
I feel the exact same way - you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, and your experience proved it. I'd just own up and tell your dad. And you're 19, I personally think that's plenty old enough to be handling yourself trying to return a tablet - did he somehow think not? Seems odd to me.
My dad thinks I'm too soft & that I'm easily persuaded/pushed around. I wouldn't say that's the case; I think I'm just understanding & willing to negotiate with people. In fact, when I was talking to one of the staff about the situation (I was organising for the tablet to be sent off to the Asus factory for inspection) my dad quickly intervened (thinking I was being taken advantage off/being too kind) & that's where it all started. I was planning on taking it in myself, but my dad wouldn't have it. He thinks abusing people is what works best.
Your dad lacks tact. Yes, making a fuss and not backing down can make people stand, notice you and take action but if your anything but poilte and civil, it will get you the exact opposite. Cudos to you for seeking your own resolution. I would personally just tell your dad less. The less he knows, the less he can cock it up for you. Shame, but that's how I see it.
I'm going to be the contrarian here. Both methods can work. In fact, many years ago when I worked on the business side of the entertainment biz, a musician I was touring with was told by the hotel that he'd have to move to a different room after being in the same one for 2 days. He called the front desk and was polite, friendly, courteous... and nothing happened, they were firm that he had to move. I called up and basically ripped them a new asshole... and they suddenly decided he could stay. I called and told him this... and he called them back and asked why it took my calling instead of him, and the front desk guy directly told him "you weren't beligerant enough"... which didn't help the situation. Long and short... as a result of how the front desk handled the situation, the general manager ended up comping the room for that night and sending up a bottle of wine on the house. But the bottom line is... *you* are an adult and you're entitled to handle matters the way *you* want. I think it's reasonable to tell your dad that you'd prefer to handle things your way, even if it means not getting what you want. You can even acknowledge that his way might be helpful sometimes, but you'd rather take what you can get by remaining nice than act the way he does, and that it isn't a slight on how he chooses to do things, just the way you feel more comfortable handling things.
I guess that I'm just not the kind of guy who could call up and rip someone a new asshole in that situation - it'd be a little awkward for me. I'm the most mild-mannered, kind guy in the world, and I know that I wouldn't like to be on the other end of that phone call. In fact, if I *were* on the other end of that phone call, I'd probably hang up, say "what an asshole", and proceed to tell everyone at the hotel bar that their drinks were with your compliments! (OK, I might not go *that* far, but you get the point)
i kinda agree with your situation but if i hadn't jumped up and down i wouldn't have got my insurance to replace my phone, the mobile shops in this country are liars and sometimes borderline criminals, i do believe you should be polite and respectful to store workers, but not when they are trying to give you the run around
Firstly, I'd come clean and calmly explain to your Dad that things work way better when we can all discuss things without raising our voices - as this helps no one. Secondly, well done on you for calling the guy back and apologizing. I'd bet the number of people who would have done that out of a hundred could be counted on one hand.
I don't think it's a problem your dad went with you. I mean, sure you are an adult and are entitled to take care of your own business, but as I understood it that is not a question in your relationship with your dad. I'm 31 and if I was in the same situation, I'd "let him" go with me as well; simply, why not. Spending some time with dad, nothing wrong with that. Definitely well done for calling back. Not just because it payed off, but because it's nice to be nice to people; that guy didn't deserve to be yelled at for the corporate policy. And yes, I'd tell my dad the truth, without waiting. These things are better not left to ferment. On a further note, I find that when you have to deal with people who do make decisions, it's better to be calmly intimidating than loudly aggressive Annoyed look, voice low and flat, a few well chosen words hinting at the law maybe. It works. Though, it helps that I'm a huge guy But that's only if you expect problems. Otherwise, a smile and a friendly comment go a long way.
I've experienced both approaches on the receiving end and I can tell you without a doubt that acting like an ass is far less likely to get good results. When I have a problem, I try my best to treat the person handling it the way I would want to be treated, the rare exception to this is if the person I'm dealing with is either a rude douche or an imbecile, but even then I politely ask to speak to a supervisor. So you're right, your Dad is wrong and you should tell him.
I think you need to tell your dad that it was your kindness that prompted good ol' Emilio to do something about it, not his ballistic Hulk transformation. Maybe add a little story like: You:*apologizes* Emilio the manager: Thank you sir. I understand why your daddy-o was mad, but we cannot do anything about it. Well... *hesitates* You: Yes? Emilio: Okay I'll pull some strings, but this really isn't the protocol, we only do this to patient, understanding, polite, classy, and respectful customers like you who make the fact that we have to work during Christmas eve less depressing than it actually is. You: *happy* Then tell your dad, and bam! Ice cold reality check drizzled with a nice guilt trip. The end.
I agree. If your dad is anything like when it comes to arguments in the family he'd say "I'm dad and I'm always right".
Your father is partly right, actually. One does need to be assertive and let the store staff know you're not going to tolerate their crap. At least here in South Africa many stores take every opportunity to screw their customers over, so you have to learn to be very strict here. However, I agree, he should not have yelled; that solves nothing. And honestly, the store wasn't that unreasonable. Normally (at least here), almost all devices are usually sent in for repairs if the condition is only minor (in your case, not charging) and received a few weeks later. It's also due to the fact that people do not want to lose their data, so they'd rather send it in for repairs than get a new device.
