Hi everyone, My name is Rose and I have finally allowed myself to accept that I'm gay. I've only told a couple of close friends who have been fantastic. I don't think I could ever tell my family. Some of them have been abusive anyway and it's a religious family. I live with my Gran (until I go to uni in Sept. Can't wait!) and I don't think I could tell her either. She has the 'each to their own, but it's not normal' attitude which makes me cringe and die a little inside every time she says it. x
Hello and welcome to EC! Good for you for finding the courage to discover who you are! If there is no need to tell anyone right away, or if you are financially dependent on people who would take this news in a less than optimal manner, keep it to yourself until you get to Uni, take the time to grow into who you are, find a relationship if you can, then, after what you deem to be a sufficient time interval, present it to them as a fait-accompli, and never apologize!
Welcome to the site, Your not alone here I for one have a similar problem with coming out to friends/family. At least you got the courage to tell someone unlike me and I praise you for being able to at least do that it takes guts to come out just don't have it yet.
Hi Rose, Congratulations for leaving the Proverbial Closet! It really shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks, as long as you're happy and are living your life the best you can. =) I hope you have a good time here and open up to many of the wonderful members.
Hi and welcome to EC. :welcome: I'm happy to hear that you've been able to start to slowly come out of the closet. Good luck with the rest of your family, and at university. :goodluck:
Wow, so many replies so soon! Amazing, thank you all! :icon_bigg I am so nervous about going to university but desperate to get away from home at the same time. I've just had an email from a tutor at college and in my reply I've told her. Eeek! Figured it doesn't really matter now I've left. There's no way I could ever tell my parents (they both abused me and as soon as I'm at uni, they're dead to me). But I like the idea of hopefully somewhere down the track, meeting that special someone and just introducing her to my Gran as 'this is it'. So glad to have found this lovely supportive place.
Congrats on coming out to your college tutor! When you say that your parents are "dead to you" as soon as you start uni, does that mean that you are not financially dependent on them any longer (i.e. you have a scholarship and/or job to let you live)? If so, I personally don't see the harm in coming out to them. Even if they totally reject you and you become "dead to them" then there's no harm done. However, what I think that you'd find is that people become a lot more supportive when someone close to them comes out rather than this nebulous category of "queer people"
Hi, I know exactly how you feel. I've just come out to a few incredibly close friends. I was in denial for a while, but I've finally accepted it!
Rainbowman- The harm in coming out to them, sadly is my safety. Not wanting to go into a huge amount of detail, but they abused me in every way. I'm able to be financially independent at uni due to to grants as well as the loans. I simply want to start my life now and leave all the pain behind.
Welcome Rose, it's good you have accepted your sexuality and if you wasn't nervous then you wouldn't be human after all we all have moments of nervousness. Any help needed EC are always here for you
(*hug*)Thank you for the hug. Complicated, but got to see them later today. Although, I guess I'm going off on one beyond an intro now!