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New here, slightly overwhelmed...

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by NebulousAgency, Jul 14, 2013.

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  1. NebulousAgency

    NebulousAgency
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    Hello,

    I just joined this website a few minutes ago and I feel the need to introduce myself. Also, I'm honestly unsure where to begin.

    I'm a male who's just entered his early twenties and I'm really beginning to struggle with life in the closet. I first noticed my attraction to other males around the age of 13 and it caused me to develop an intense homophobia, reflected in my attitude towards LGBT rights and in a period of intense self-hatred. As I moved towards my middle teens I became more tolerant and gradually came to accept that I was probably bisexual.

    I came out to perhaps 3 or 4 of my school-friends but my father ignored me, suggesting it was only some phase I was passing through on my way to a heterosexual adulthood. I made no more attempts to make my sexuality public and since then I've been living a lie. This has caused me great despair and I have struggled with clinical depression on a number of occasions.

    Lying is just so tiring and I know I'll have to do something soon. I've been at university for two whole years only to see my private life whither like some sickly plant.

    Sorry for the heavy post. Just providing some background detail. I'm really looking forward to any replies.

    -Thanks for reading :slight_smile:
     
    #1 NebulousAgency, Jul 14, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2013
  2. Minx

    Minx
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    Welcome to EC. :slight_smile:
     
    #2 Minx, Jul 14, 2013
  3. NebulousAgency

    NebulousAgency
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    Thanks, I'm glad I got a reply. :grin:

    I was really scared at first...
     
    #3 NebulousAgency, Jul 14, 2013
  4. Minx

    Minx
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    I was nervous my first introduction as well. :lol:
     
    #4 Minx, Jul 14, 2013
  5. NebulousAgency

    NebulousAgency
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    It seems silly in an anonymous environment like this but I'm really shaken up actually. It just feels like things might start to change for the better, that my feelings won't be some terrible secret bearing down on me.

    Thanks again.
     
    #5 NebulousAgency, Jul 14, 2013
  6. Munyal

    Munyal
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    Welcome to EC! It is nice to find a place like this, is it not?


    That was a rhetorical question, I've been on here since January, I know it is a nice place.
     
    #6 Munyal, Jul 14, 2013
  7. NebulousAgency

    NebulousAgency
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    Thank you very much.

    Is there anything I should know about the atmosphere or 'etiquette' here?
     
    #7 NebulousAgency, Jul 14, 2013
  8. Munyal

    Munyal
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    Uhh... Don't cuss constantly. It's okay in small doses. Be nice!
     
    #8 Munyal, Jul 14, 2013
  9. NebulousAgency

    NebulousAgency
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    :icon_wink

    Seems simple enough. I guess the rules of conduct shall suffice.
     
    #9 NebulousAgency, Jul 14, 2013
  10. BradThePug

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    Hello and Welcome to EC!!

    As long as you are respectful and follow the off-site contact rules in the yellow banner, you'll be fine.
     
    #10 BradThePug, Jul 14, 2013
  11. NebulousAgency

    NebulousAgency
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    Thanks. I'll try my best to not be a pain in the neck. :lol:

    ---------- Post added 15th Jul 2013 at 03:46 AM ----------

    Still, it's amazing that in all these years I haven't really spoken only to any LGBT people.
     
    #11 NebulousAgency, Jul 14, 2013
  12. wittyusername

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    Hi and welcome!! :smilewave
     
    #12 wittyusername, Jul 14, 2013
  13. NebulousAgency

    NebulousAgency
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    Thanks you. :slight_smile:
     
    #13 NebulousAgency, Jul 14, 2013
  14. jetef

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    welcome to EC.
     
    #14 jetef, Jul 14, 2013
  15. Kamina

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    Hey :welcome: :smilewave

    I hope you find what you are looking for here, it's a really good site for advice and to just chat with people without worrying about being someone you are not! I'm sure you will find everyone here really friendly and helpful! (!) (*hug*)
     
    #15 Kamina, Jul 14, 2013
  16. NebulousAgency

    NebulousAgency
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    Again, thanks for the replies. :slight_smile:
     
    #16 NebulousAgency, Jul 15, 2013
  17. Wildwings

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    Welcome in, Here is right place I am sure you will find what you need here.
     
    #17 Wildwings, Jul 15, 2013
  18. biggayguy

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    Welcome to EC. This is a wonderful place to ask questions, find some friends, give and take advice or just hang out. Lying is tiring and scary. Please don't live in the closet for twenty years like I did.
     
    #18 biggayguy, Jul 15, 2013
  19. NebulousAgency

    NebulousAgency
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    Thanks for the reply. :slight_smile:

    I've only been closeted for 5-6 years but I feel like I just can't carry on the lies and deception. I can't imagine how painful it must have been to keep it a secret for two decades.
     
    #19 NebulousAgency, Jul 15, 2013
  20. Lebowski45

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    I could relate so much to what you said so I thought I'd reply.

    I came out when I was 21, and I came to this site in similar circumstances. Basically, I got sick of the closet and not enjoying my life. I think that the realisation that you have to do something about it is the first step in coming out. It's a good thing that you've joined this website, because it's unbelievable how much it helps to open up to people you don't know and who can relate to the things you're going through. For me, I found it helpful to talk about the issue with people who weren't me :lol:

    So I'd encourage you to use the forums as much as you need to, people here helped me so much and I'm sure they will help you too. As time goes on, it gets easier to deal with.

    All the best man :icon_bigg
     
    #20 Lebowski45, Jul 15, 2013
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