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Do you have to be in love with someone to know your gay?

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Elle546, Jul 21, 2013.

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  1. Elle546

    Elle546
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    If I posted this in the wrong place I'm sorry. I haven't manage to go on this site often so I'm still fairly new to it. just wanted to ask as this question has popped in my head from time to time.

    I'm pretty sure I'm gay or at least bi. It has taken me from during high school to figure it out and during that time I had crushes on both boys and girls. During high school I know that when my friends were calling a lot of boys fit, I would look at them and couldn't see what they saw. I've only been out with one guy and no girls (one I don't have a crush on anyone at the moment and two I don't exactly know to ask a girl out anyhow) but I do feel like I'm attracted to girls more than guys. The reason I broke up my boyfriend was because thoughts of my sexual oritenation wouldn't go away - which I had convince my high school girl would once I've actually dated. Also I did have a crush on one of my friends but I was too shy to tell her.

    At the moment I don't have a crush or am in love with anyone. And a lot of the time if you read stories, fanfics, or watch films or vids on youtube about being gay, coming out etc, most of the time the person is in love with someone and that's how they know.

    So is that the only way you know for sure? Or do you just know regardless if you fancy anyone at the current time or not?
     
    #1 Elle546, Jul 21, 2013
  2. Landion

    Landion
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    I knew that I was gay long before having a crush on anyone. I would drive down the road and see a good looking guy and stare. I would watch TV and see certain actors and was attracted to them. It was probably a year or two after realizing that I was gay before I had my first crush on someone at school.
     
    #2 Landion, Jul 21, 2013
  3. Azrael

    Azrael
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    I think can know if you are gay without the love part if you are sexually attracted to some celebrity of the same gender.
     
    #3 Azrael, Jul 21, 2013
  4. Wells

    Wells Guest

    Not really. If you get attracted to other girls, but not fall in love with, thats the strongest sign you'll get. I do't think you're entirely lesbian though. You might just be more attracted to girls than boys. I'm more attracted to boys than girls, but I dont know if I like them enough to call me gay
     
    #4 Wells, Jul 21, 2013
  5. Dublin Boy

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    Hi there :welcome: to EC :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:
     
    #5 Dublin Boy, Jul 21, 2013
  6. fluffyhandcuff

    fluffyhandcuff
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    If heterosexual people know that they're straight without falling in love, why shouldn't gay people know that they're gay without falling in love?
     
    #6 fluffyhandcuff, Jul 21, 2013
  7. Elle546

    Elle546
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    Thanks all these messages were very helpful :grin:
     
    #7 Elle546, Jul 21, 2013
  8. misssunshine91

    misssunshine91
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    I have the same issue as you have and I am quite sure that you can be gay without being in love with someone...
    I don't have a crush on anyone either, but I'm pretty pretty sure that I am gay... Sometimes you just know, there's not need to meet someone in particular you immediately fall in love with to know you're gay (or straight or whatever).
    :slight_smile:
     
    #8 misssunshine91, Jul 21, 2013
  9. Elle546

    Elle546
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    Thanks ^^
     
    #9 Elle546, Jul 21, 2013
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