This is a very sudden thing, uh.. I am an 18 year old girl, right now, and I think I lean more towards guys when it comes to my orientation. But for a very long time I've felt out of place, I remember thinking I was an alien when I was little cause I couldn't relate to anything. I've always referred to my style as androgynous and I, I don't know, felt uncomfortable constantly. I've come to the tentative decision that I may want to transition to male in the future. It's a very very sudden thing, it may be a phase (I have a tendency to go head first into something and leave it after a few months), but the way I feel now is different. I feel weird talking to everyone now, as if something's clicked and I'm not who I was, almost overnight. This was sO LONG god I'm sorry, basically hello, if I were to transition my name would either be Noah or Aaron, it's lovely to meet you all.
It's a horrible feeling isn't it! Even online I find it so hard to talk to anyone or make friends, the only time I ever feel comfortable is in my room on my own.
Maybe there will be a place where you don't feel left out some day. I have a couple of brave transgender friends who know there are people that love them and will stand behind them no matter what. Do you have a close circle of people?
Oh yeah, I have two very close friends and maybe 10 people I would call friends and trust outside of that. I recently left sixth form/college, and I felt the most comfortable I've ever felt there, although I still wasn't happy with myself. Now that I'm starting at a new college, this has made me lonelier than I've ever been and I don't see myself making many new friends. I think all my friends would accept me, it's my family I'm worried about. I have a gay brother that my family is absolutely fine with but I'm worried if I changed that my parents would feel like I've taken away their daughter, and would resent who I would be as a guy? I live with my gran as well who I have a great relationship, but she's from a different generation, and although she accepts my brother, I think me becoming male would make her maybe never speak to me again or something... but like I said this is a very new thing to me and maybe nothing will ever come of it, everything's uncertain at the moment.
Yeah, perhaps you should be certain before you make any finalized decisions. I could tell one of my friends went over it for months, slowly changing his wardrobe and cutting his hair. It was almost a year long process. And I know how you feel about the older generation bit. My grandparents are basically my parents cause they raised me, and before I leave for university I want to tell them I'm bi or something cause I trust them but at the same time, I'm petrified!
Absolutely! I'm trying out male clothes and easing into the idea vvvveeryy slowly, and may start to think of myself as Noah/Aaron in my head and just see how it all feels so I can back out at any time. I think if it is a large part of yourself that it's important that you do, but at the same time don't do anything you're uncomfortable with! I think they will love and accept you, because how can they not? Good luck though!
Hello, and pardon me... Your user name... I have brothers named Aaron and Noah. This is a mind screw. But welcome to EC
