I'm too scared to talk about it. (Also Hey) Hey, I'm Gage. I'm 16, nearing on 17 and I'm male but, I wish I wasn't. Ever since a young age, I knew that something was up (of course, being young and stupid, I didn't know what it was.) I had a crush on my best friend at the time and I day dreamed of "magically" turning into a girl so he might feel the same way. (It was grade 6, give me a break ha-ha) I've known now for awhile that I'm bisexual I haven't told anyone about it though except for my best friend (he's also male, and at one point was bi-curious). The majority of my friends now are female, and they constantly ask me if I'm gay because I act feminine. I just want to tell everyone that i'm not gay, acting feminine is just what feels natural to me. For about the last year of my life, whenever I'm getting ready to go to sleep I just fantasize about waking up the next morning to a new body, a female one. (when I say fantasize, I don't mean sexually) My mom is totally fine with people being gay or bi, but I don't think she's understanding of people getting gender transitions (she thinks its not natural). My dad certainly wouldn't approve I know he would be disappointed in me. I can barely get out of bed anymore, I don't sleep and I cry a lot at night. Whenever I dream of being a girl, I feel truly happy, but then I look at the mirror and it's like i'm not even looking at myself. I would have a hard enough time telling my parents I want to see a therapist, let alone that I want to transition, and I really just don't know what to do anymore. Anyways, that was pretty ranty!.. Sorry for anyone that stuck through that nasty wall of text. I just had to vent somewhere, this seemed like the most fitting place to do so. ---------- Post added 5th Aug 2013 at 03:52 PM ---------- Sorry for the double post! I'm pretty sure I posted this in the wrong section! (my bad!)
Hello. Welcome to EC. I see you're a fellow Canadian, heh While I wish I could help you further with this, I don't think I can. I'm sure others can, though. EC is a good place to be at, and I hope we can be of assistance to you in some way. One thing you could look into, if you haven't already, would be meeting with a school counsellor or therapist. I assume you're still in school and that your school has them. Having someone in person to talk to about things going on in your life can be really helpful.
Hi Gage, Your parents may not be understanding. They may never understand. That is a truth that sometimes you just have to realize and accept. What's more important is whether you are comfortable in yourself, with yourself, and who you are. Everything else comes secondary. Coming to the point of being comfortable in yourself, you may find that simply wearing girl clothing and stuff may be enough. I know several people like this, and there are a lot of people like this. On the other hand, it may not be enough, and you just need to be a woman. If they do not understand, it is not your fault, and not your problem, and it is not your job to change them. BAM responsibility gone yay for laziness JUST KIDDING okay back on topic. I think that's it. Just stay true to yourself, whatever or whomever that is.
Ha-ha I see you're also from B.C as well! I think seeing a school counselor would be a great idea actually, then I wouldn't have to ask for parental permission to see one at a clinic. I'm going over to my friends place in a bit to get my mind off things for awhile, he's the only person who knows I'm bi, I feel like I could probably ease my way into talking to him about it as well. Hey You're right, I need to stop trying to cater to everyone else and I need to think about what's best for me. It's just difficult y'know, cause I mean don't get me wrong I love my parent's they're great people I just don't want to let them down. I feel like dressing up is only a temporary solution to a bigger problem with me. I've tried before, but I just left me with a feeling of wanting more. Thanks for the reply!
