Hello Im Orpi. I am just comeing out as non-binary transgender I have allways had really bad body disphoria. When I was younger I thought It was because I was born female and didnt have big enuph breasts to fit in with other women or to be wanted. I thought I was just unatractive. Then I realized I was atracted to the female form. It was pretty easy for me to say Im gay. I have never discused my body disphoria with any friends or familly untill just the other night. Only have I ever discussed it with partners I have been in past and present relationships with. Most of them didnt understand and thought It was weird sexual fetishing that I had. Only now that I have a beautiful partner now who is also non-binary transgender have I felt most comfterble talking about my body disphoria and have someone to talk to that really understands me. I like haveing a female form. I like my breasts and my face. I just feel like my genitiles are messed up. I feel like I am incapable of haveing sex the way I am suposed to. Its not a stupid fetish. I feel like something is wrong with me. I have tryed useing "strap ons" and other things like that and at first it feels natural but then it just feels like exactly what it is a substatute for what im suposed to have. And that makes me feel like crap in the end. takeing T is out of the question because I dont want to change my aperance or how I sound. and Surgery is out of the question because realisticaly I will never be able to afford it. Also I have heard alot of storeys of f2m surgery where the person really regrets it because they loose all feeling and or cant get it up. so its like a perminant novalty pisser and sex is forever gone. I just feel like Im stuck feeling like this forever. Feeling like im broken. When someone desribes a man that cant get hard so he cant actually penatrate a woman. I feel like I have the same issue. like I am forced to have sex forever because my genitles are messed up. Im not a creepy perve. I am in love with my partner. We are getting maried. I just wish I could make love to them the way I feel like Im suposed to. On top of that. I was talking to my little brother and a close friend about my body disphoria just the other night. the first time ever to anyone that was not a partner of mine. The conversation didnt go well at all. I was verbally trampled all over. Compleetly made me feel like crap. So here I am comeing to terms with who I am and realizeing Im allways going to be stuck with this depression for the rest of my life.
Hello and Welcome to EC!! Yeah, it really stinks that there are not any good bottom surgeries out there for FtM or non-binary identified people. I hope that someday there are more (and better) options for us out there. Right now, I would not have it done because there are too many risks. (I also don't have the money..) Most FtM trans* people that I have met have decided not to have the surgery because of what you have mentioned. It's also a good thing to have somebody that you can talk to. I'm sure that your partner can understand some of what you are talking about with your dysphoria. It has to help a lot (for both you and your partner) to have each other to talk to about your dysphoria. It's hard to explain dysphoria to friends and family. I'm still trying to figure out how to explain to them how I feel. That's not an easy task at all.
Hey and welcome. This place is a good outlet for the feelings you're having, lots of people here are going through similar things.
I feel its imposible to elpaine to my friends because im not trying to transition to a man so they just dont understand what im trying to say to them. but thank you for your post on this. it feels so good to have people to empathize with me on my situation.
