All: As the informations say, I identify as a bisexual crossdresser. I am also married (for the second time), have 2 grown children and one grandchild. My journey regarding understand my sexuality started in 1990. I was involved in a peer-to-peer counseling methodology where it OK to talk about your feelings, fears and observations of controversial subjects without judgement. As I delved deeper into my past and what I felt, it appeared that I was really gay. Note I was still married to my first wife at the time. Anyway, what was important was that I began to understand some of my behaviors in that context. The fact that I still had a physical relationship with my wife (albeit infrequently and not of my doing) did not seem inconsistent as sometimes sex with women by gay men can be situational. In other words, you can't hold that fact up by itself and say that you are not gay. It's just an anomaly. This was my thought process for a couple of years. What I realized was that I didn't really feel any different about women as compared to what I though when I believed myself to be straight. This was when the notion of bisexuality started creeping in. What crystalized it for me was during a counseling session, someone said said to me that being bisexual "means that you can have an intimate relationship with any consenting person on earth.". As I thought about people who I was genuinely attracted to, I realized that an attraction to the person and personality was at least as strong, and probably stronger, than any consideration of genitalia and sexuality. Finally, in the late 90's I decided that it was time to put what I thought to the test. The result was several brief encounters (too short to call them relationships) with men to see if what I thought was true. As I traveled a fair amount for work, it was easy to make arrangements while away. Having frequent flyer points also facilitated other situations. It turned out to be a totally enjoyable experience for me. When I told my first lover that he was, in fact, the first, he was completely surprised. There was no reticence or tentativeness. Eventually, my first wife and I decided that it was time to separate long about 2000. We basically lived on different floors of our house. The process took about 3 years as she worked through what she wanted to do and where she wanted to live. At one point I happened to mention, just as a piece of information, that a new employee affinity group had formed for LGBT people and allies. However, my first wife made me swear that I would not join until she left town as she thought is would be too embarrassing. Late in 2000, I became reacquainted with a woman I knew many years before, but there was never a romantic component to the relationship. However, as time went on, we discovered that there was a deeper attachment and the relationship grew. We continued to see each other before and after 2003 when my divorce was finalized. In January of 2004 I started an extended work assignment in Taiwan. We were eventually married (second for her also) in 2005 and remain so. My second wife is very open and fluid in her views regarding sex and sexuality. When I started to experiment a bit regarding crossdressing, she was (and is) very supportive. Actually, the only time that I've gone out completely dressed started with her suggestion. We had a great time, but that was several years ago. My concern has always been that we live in a small town where there is a high probability of seeing someone that you know from work at the grocery store, the mall, the gas station, etc. I just don't need the complication. In spite of how I feel about dressing in public, I almost always underdress and dress up at home on the weekends. Often I will push the envelope by wearing a bra and forms under a windbreaker or wearing dark chunky heels under somewhat longer than usual pants. It's all pretty low key, but it makes me feel good. When I was relatively young, I worried a lot about appearing masculine enough. That continued for a long time. Eventually I came to understand that it was actually causing quite a bit of stress for me. Every time at I thought about things and resolved to let go of some of the posturing, it felt like a burden had been at least partially lifted. That continues, so, so far, so good... Anyway, that's just about the whole story. Good to be here!
