I JUST WROTE THIS BIT OF POETRY, IT EXPLAINS MY SITUATION: “change for a three dollar bill” 09-25-13 desires, constantly changing, twisted ideas of joyous repugnant accepting the dreams I deserve accepting myself desires, needs, arousals awkward hard on, shameful greedy acceptance pulsing, thrusting, pounding thrusting in my mind fantasizing my desires, my needs ashamed, humiliated, I needed it so badly I’ve lost the ability to choose The desires will not leave my mind The change is in my heart I feel like being utterly honest, yet helpless And I’m scared Midnight dreams of arousal Where escape has no guilt Where you can share want with need Denial, guilt, confession , fear, humiliation, You feel it running through you You feel degraded for what turns you on. So, you roll over grab your pillow, Grunt, sigh, and try to go back to sleep. And hope she’ll still kiss you in the morning.
