I have been depressed for 13 years now but it got worse after my second year of college. I have been abusing a pain reliever "Tramadol" that is not only for pain but has SNRI properties similar to Effexor which I tried to get my doctor to switch me to but he won't do so immediately so I have been without my trams for almost a month now chewing on klonopins and kratom for relief but it's not giving me the depression relief I am seeking like tramadol does. Do we gays deserve this? Especially us gay men? I am starting to believe so! I have NOBODY. Not a single phone call, e-mail (rarely), text, or anything and the only person I really have to speak to is my grandmother. She won't be here for long so what would I do? Like most gays I am finicky. Waiting on my prince charming and being wish washy so sometimes I believe I deserve this and other times I just don't care but what can I do? I don't believe a forum can even help me and I am so depressed that I don't even care about forums because I don't believe it's a good way to connect with others. I am right in NYC in the Bronx and there is a huge gay community downtown from me that is very supportive but I have no car, transportation has went up and my depression is so bad that I have no motivation and when I do get it I try not to make any big plans like signing up for some sort of gay support group that I know I won't continue to attend. Selfish me would only go to find a man and than would drop out of the group and once that is over, go back again. I wish I was rich sometimes. I could travel any where to meet any guy and probably be happy in another country but my finances are low and coming in slowly and school is my only hope but how can I manage and cope with my last 5 classes with this type of depressed attitude and mood? :icon_sad:
You don't deserve to feel depressed. No one deserves to isolated feeling being different can give you. Being rich though, won't make it all go away. You'll just have a whole slue of new things to be depressed about...like not knowing who is your friend or into you because of your money or because of you. You say your Dr. won't put you on Effexor. Are you seeing a General Doctor or a Therapist? Therapists are more readily able to prescribe SNRI etc... I couldn't for the life of me get my GP to put me on anything, but my therapist was very quick in putting me on Welbutrin, which has been an amazing balance. Some even have samples or can get you same day scripts. Might be something to consider? I understand where you are coming from with Tramadol. I used to say that it should be handed out with the birth of every child because it made me feel so good I didn't care about much other anything. I just felt happy. The Welbutrin does the same thing for me..and it much safer. Be careful pill-popping. Mixing the wrong kind can really mess you up (or kill you). This is a great place to talk out your feelings. Hopefully some more in your situation will pop in with some advice. Hang in there - *Stephany*
(*hug*) Hey, welcome to EC. its true ... depression is high among gay men. You will find plenty of them here (me included) to share advice with and get support too. We also have a number EC people from NYC who might be able to discuss resources & groups local to you. Fighting depression is a bit of an art. And 12 years man, about time you made some progress. Good support, clear thinking, checking you're on the best medication (for you).. The support on EC can play a valid part in your recovery... (*hug*)
Hi .. thanks for sharing ...I am struggling with depression as well ... and hope to find support here in EC ... I just wish that I had a support group where I am .. I can type and type in a forum .. but sometimes I wish that there was someone there face to face .. I hope that you are able to find support and cope.... you are not alone here in EC.
