Feeling suicidal

I have felt suicidal too many times to count but I don't know what to say

 

Hang on buddy! There's gotta be someone you can rely on, even someone you just met. Trust at least a little again. (*hug*)

 

Hi Nelo, and welcome to EC! Please hold on and know there is a community of people who you have never met who care and are here to help! I volunteer with a homeless shelter here in California, and know that until your physical needs are met, it will be difficult to deal with mental and emotional ones. Is there a shelter you can go to? Where can you go for food? Have you been to churches? These are the questions to ask yourself and others. Message me if I can help. Hang in there buddy, it will get better!

 

You are far too young to give up hope. Decades of good life ahead. If you can just break down your issues in to manageable tasks.

No.1 is the physical Crohns pain which, alone, can have a debilitating affect on anyone's mood. I can see why this alone would send anyone in to a complete funk. Are you getting all the right advice and help with this? If the pain is affecting you then you should seek intervention as it must be brought under control.

As for therapists not keeping things confidential: It is their job to provide a confidential setting. If not, they should be struck off. So do think about getting some real counselling.

As finding a counsellor might take time to set up, use this site and its resources to its fullest. Here you are guaranteed confidentiality because you are anonymous. There are great people here in similar situations. Also there are also some special pages on suicide and useful suggestions and links.

List out all the people you could contact for support. Relatives, friends. Do you have a brother or sister. (Dare I suggest: would your parents take you in under these circumstances - if only for a few months?).

Then local shelters and support groups as Californiacoast says.

As for longer term goals, your existing talents and interest in the culinary world may not be completely thwarted by the Crohns, there may be related fields, or you can discover completely new passions. Plenty of time for that after addressing your current crisis.

As Mirko says, one day at a time. Hold in there buddy.... And do keep us posted on how you are doing please.

 

Hi there!

I'm glad that you have posted on here, and expressed your feelings. Sometimes that alone helps, just by getting things off of our chests. I know exactly how you're feeling, I myself, and I'm sure many others, have been in that exact position you're in. I've experienced the suicidal ideation more times than I care to admit, and I've gone as far as attempting twice before in my life and ending up in the ICU once.

But I am glad that I survived, even though I still occasionally have my bad days, which we all do, because we're all human. Things do get better, no matter how dark they seem now, they will improve. You're young, you have your whole life ahead of you, all the amazing places you will visit, all the fantastic and lovely people who will enter your life and all the memories that you will have. It's not worth giving that up.

You cannot be replaced. You are a crucial part of this world, imagine it as a jigsaw piece, every person is a piece of that puzzle. If you were to go and disappear, the puzzle would not be able to be completed. It'd always be missing a crucial part of it, leaving it incomplete. You're needed here, you may not see it, and the people who need you the most may not have entered your life yet, but you will mean the world to someone.

I'm studying psychology at college at the moment, and I could not recommend any more that you seek professional help. They are legally bound by law (also a law student) to keep what you say confidential. They will not risk it by telling ANYBODY - they can, and they will lose their license if you were to find out and take them to court. It's a professional foul, it's illegal. Everything you say to them - unless you say you're killing yourself when you walk out the door, or plan on hurting another person, everything must remain confidential. They do help, there's many different treatment options, including therapy and medications.

Medications may seem frightening to some, but it's the same as if you had cancer and needed chemotherapy. Depression is a medical condition; the same as cancer. Depression is caused by physical means inside the brain, medications rectify this. They do not mean you're crazy, or weak.

I wish you all the best, if you ever need to talk further feel free to PM. I hope you start feeling better soon and can see how beautiful this world truly is.

Take care!

 

Sorry to hear of all these issues. Sounds really difficult.
Not so many people read this Welcome Page- I'd suggest you make a specific post on the relevant forums. Many people here ready to offer advice.
You sleep in his car - not in his apartment??

 

Hi Nelo. Welcome to EC!

I really think you should seek professional help. It's best.

As for your abusive relationship, it has to end. As long as your current boyfriend doesn't find out, go on a dating site. That way, you can find a trusting person to be with. When you break up with your current boyfriend, do it over the phone, or E-mail him from your new boyfriend's house/apartment. This way, he won't know where you are, and you'll be safe with your new boyfriend.

I hope this helps.

 

I agree

 

Other resources to think about: the county in which you live. Go apply for food stamps and housing. Gotta get you into a stable housing situation where you are safe and feel in control. Have you checked on other shelters? Friends?

 

If you can, you should check to see if there is a distress centre in your area. They can be very helpful with both support and resources. I really hope things start looking up for you, I know it's hard right now but just know that there are people that care about your life, and are willing to do what they can to help you. Please hold on.

 

Wisconsin.gov - - Assistance There are resources here that can help. Also, have you considered filling out the fafsa and going back to school? You may be able to get enough financial aid to keep you afloat. I can't imagine how hard this all is for you. I hope you find a way to get out of this bad situation. One that isn't suicide. All is takes is ten minutes to apply for help. Be strong for ten minutes, even if it's hard. (*hug*)

 

It may not seem like it, but there is always someone who cares. Even if it's just me And hey, I've been there before--I've lost all hope--I too once wished everything would just go silent so living would just stop hurting. I felt like I was inside a glass box--able to watch everyone around me get on without a care in the world, smiling, laughing--happy, but I couldn't experience it. I was on the outside, unable to remember the last time I felt true happiness. It had gotten to the point where it no longer mattered to me what happened. I didn't care enough to get out of bed in the morning. I didn't have any friends, and my parents didn't care about me--the real me anyway. I felt that was all alone.
And then I realized that if I kept going on like this, I was letting them all win. All of those people that had bullied me, making my life a living hell, all of the people that I didn't know who would judge me as soon as we met just because of who I'm attracted to, and my family, who wants me to be someone I'm not. I would be letting them all win this fight, and they didn't deserve that. And I thought, hey, you know what would make them all really angry? If I managed to get back on my feet--become the fearless, passionate, persistent girl that I am today. My bullies would never hear the end of it if I turned out to be a successful motivator--an inspiration. And I kept thinking. What if I stay and fight? I had already hit rock bottom, and there was nothing more that I had to lose. So really, what's the harm in staying a while longer? If you pull the trigger now, it's the end, no turning back. But if you don't, at least you have a chance to make it to the top. You have a chance to be happy.
If you would have told me two years ago that I would be happy right now, I would have laughed in your face, but look at me? I'm as happy as I've ever been! I still don't have any close friends, and my parents haven't changed, but I don't need their approval. I am content with myself. I can confidently stand up to anyone who tries to disrespect me. I am finally okay with who I am, and who I am is beautiful <3

We've never met, I don't know you, but I can relate to what you've gone through, and I am telling you from experience, it really does get better. And if you ever need to talk, just message me

 

Hi Nelo,

I hope you will be good very soon. The idea of going to the dating site sounds really helpful. Like a TailsFan said, you better hide it from your boyfriend. I'd suggest to find someone you can rely on who is from another city that will reduce a risk of disclosure by your boyfriend. How about Milwaukee, WI? Bigger city, bigger communities, more likely to find good friends, more opportunities to receive professional help. I know that this is very specific, but just keep it in mind. There are a lot of people who are wish and able to help you. Eventually you will met one. Please, do not harm yourself. After a series of misfortunes always comes huge happiness!

Take care, bro. (o・_・)ノ”(ノ_<。)

 

Welcome

 

mate i dont know what to say. You may not like this advice but to find a safe shelter maybe try approaching someone at a hospital or police station and asking for advice on places to go, a hospital is probably a better choice since they are more likely to help.
Explain to them your predicament, that you were kicked out because you are gay, your fear of homophobia from people in the shelters and how they are stealing your medication. i know that in london they've made shelters for youths who have been kicked out or runaway due to homophobic parents, hopefully they can guide you to something similar too.
stay strong, your life is beginning and though things are dark now we all pray things will get better for you. please stay in contact.

 

Hi there. So sorry you are feeling this way. Please don't harm yourself, because even though you can't see it right this minute, it won't always be this way. I know you are scared, but I think you should go to a hospital emergency room, and tell them you need help and how you are feeling. They can get you the help you need. I really do recommend talking to a counselor. They are bound by law to keep everything you say confidential, unless they find you to be a threat to yourself or someone else. So even if you tell them you are suicidal, they will talk to you about it, and they will help you! If you can't afford to pay, they know resources to help you get the help you need. You are so young, and your life is just beginning. And believe it or not, people care! Let's us know how you are getting along. Best wishes to you!

 

Hi there Nelo, I am so sorry to hear about of that. First off welcome to EC, and Congratulations for making the first step by joining a non-judgemental site like EC, and having the bravery to tell us. By you telling us that you feel suicidal and that you just want it to end, there's something inside of you, that wants to be better, and not be suicidal. Yo've come and asked for help. I am happy about that. First off, I want you to really look into some sort person to trust even just a little. Once that tiny bit of trust is there, talk to that person. You will find that in that person, your trust will grow. Eventually you're gonna be able to trust more people. It takes time, though. Another thing is, Are you Christian, just like your parents. If you are, there are some GLBTQ friendly churches out there, that are very helpful. I am gay, and I'm also a christian. I also love to help out so if you want to talk send me a wall message. I love to listen.