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Just Another Tormented Soul

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by IAM, Sep 21, 2013.

  1. IAM

    IAM
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
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    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hiya,

    Fifty-five year old father of three grown children and 1 grandchild, and I've know I was gay since I was 3 years old. Yes, it's been a cover-up, an alternate identity since then. Everyone accused me of being gay as a kid, so the "I'll Show Them" kicked in and I was married for 28 years. Anyway, here's the issue. If I could choose, I would not be gay. I loved being married and having and raising kids. But damned if I couldn't keep my eyes off the guys. I don't want to be gay, but since I am, and I know there's no changing it, I should at least try to find happiness. I would love to find a man to just settle into a close, romantic, buddy, guy life with. I'm sure my ex-wife (who has figured it out) and my children (who have also figured it out) would be supportive, but we don't talk about it. Everyone seems to know, but we're all in denial. What a life! I expect most of you to say just "out with it," but it's not always that easy. I suppose I've destined myself to a lonely, unfulfilled love life. Oh well... hey, hi there, how is everyone? :confused:
     
  2. Englishlad

    Full Member

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    Hi welcome to EC. :slight_smile: we are all here for you if you ever want to talk.
     
  3. IAM

    IAM
    Regular Member

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    Ah, how nice to be greeted first by a Welshman. I love the Welsh, love them I say! Rhod Gilbert is a crack up! Thanks for the welcome. I'd probably marry the first man from Wales I meet, the accent is so sweet and the heart so pure.
     
    #3 IAM, Sep 21, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2013
  4. TheStrongestLink

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    Welcome to EC! Glad to have you with us! We are always here for you if you need any support!
     
  5. Englishlad

    Full Member

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    Thank you. :slight_smile: us Welsh men are sweet. :slight_smile:
     
  6. arielgirl

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Hi and welcome. You are not alone. I am a transgender female and I can relate to much of what you saying in my own way. I am not finding coming out easy in the least. It took me a long time to get over the denial and how to begin to understand the feelings I had about who I am. I hid and suppressed my female identity for most of my life at least since I was a teen - I'll be 48 next week. I too pushed the feelings away but they kept on getting stronger over time. I am a parent and (for now) still married to my female partner of 22 years. I only just came out to her and my brother. I wish you success.
     
  7. toushirojaylee

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    Welcome to EC!