Just want to say hello

Hello everyone here. I'm a Male to Female transgender woman. I came out to my wife of 20 years a month ago and my brother and his wife yesterday. I am in my late 40s and I have 2 daughters in their early teens. I am so afraid and unsure about how to proceed or even if what I have done is going to help me. I have suffered with major depression and anxiety almost all my life - one crisis after another in the last 4 years. I am getting support but I am in a panic now. Nothing really negative has been said to me but I don't know what to do about disclosing to my kids. My wife is terrified about me transitioning and has told me how selfish it would be and that I would hurt our children by doing it. Our marriage has been in trouble for a number of years. Her family are religious zealots and would surely want me to be "cured". She is worried about the pressure on her she will get from her family. I talked about a separation but she is worried about my safety living alone and the financial strain it would put on us. I am in such despair and confusion right now. I have only recently started experimenting with my appearance mostly in private away from the home in my art studio. I feel like I'm living a dual life and it is exhausting already. I want to finally honor my female self but I have been feeling afraid of hurting and breaking up my family. I am a very dependent person and feel so afraid that if I transition I will not have the strength or the support to do this at home. I am very worried about our future as a family.

 

Thank you for the welcomes.
ukbrunette, I will check out the forums and thanks for those kind words and encouragement