Hey everyone! I'm a gay 14 year old boy who likes music! I feel weird because this is my second post and I didn't say hello first... Woops! Oh well! I guess since I saw someone else write their coming out story on theirs, I'll write mine too. It all started in sixth grade I guess, I never thought that I would turn out gay and never really thought anything about it until Christmas that year... I got a Nintendo DSi XL and was thrilled to have it! Then I discovered it had internet access... So of course the first thing I did was look up porn sites. XD But after awhile, I discovered it wasn't doing much for me... Then one night I got a wild hair idea... I'd look up naked boys instead of girls! That probably should've let me know right then and there what was going on, but it didn't. I just kept saying to myself, "It's just a little phase is all! No harm what-so-ever!" But I could never bring myself to look up straight stuff again... This troubled me a little, but not a lot, because I didn't really care enough to force a change. This went on for 2 and a half years before the next major thing happened. I had just started 8th grade and noticed something... none of the girls... not even my own girlfriend at the time, looked attractive to me anymore... There was this one boy... there was something about him that made me always want to be around him, but I am a crazy geek and he is a jock. So I never could get more than a hello out of him. Then I started noticing it wasn't just him that I felt that way for... it was all the other hot guys too... I was confused and annoyed. Than the thought hit me that I might be gay one morning on the way to my 4th period class... I started shaking and crying the whole day and I wouldn't speak to anyone, but finally by the end of the day I had forced myself to believe that I was still straight and just going through a phase. The next day I was called down to the councilor's office because someone told on me about the day before. She asked me why I was crying, and I told her that I had a major sexuality crisis and that everything was alright now. I was wrong... The boys looked more and more attractive to me. Then I started thinking, "You know, maybe I'm just bi-curious!" So I went around with that for awhile and everything was fine. And then, it wasn't... I had lost all sexual attraction to girls and was looking at the boys the way I used to look at the girls... My thought process was, "Well, okay, let's face it. I'm Bi. I won't judge based on looks, but based upon personality!" I still had my girlfriend at the time too. But, I felt sick every time I went to talk to her, and even worse during intimate moments... This is where it all gets weird... I finally broke up with my girlfriend and had moved on. But I still considered myself Bi... But I wasn't so sure anymore... I had told a few people that I was Bi-curious, but nothing more, and I could tell by the look on their faces when I told them, that they knew something I didn't. Then, the last week of 8th grade... at some point during the week, without even realizing it until later, I decided I was gay... And then on the night of June 9th, 2013... in a hotel room in Washington D.C. (I was on a class trip...) I told my first person that I was gay... After he went to sleep I stayed awak staring at the ceiling thinking, "What... did I just say...? Well...this isn't gonna end well..." Then the following day everyone else on that trip found out. And they were all very supportive. But deep in my heart I was now scared to death. What would everyone else at school think? I worried in silence and depression almost the whole Summer... Then on August 7th... Troye Sivan, one of my favorite YouTubers of all time, came out. His video showed me that there was no reason to be afraid of being gay. I should be proud of it! I owe Troye my life, because I was so scared that I was wondering if maybe ending it would be a better option...Boy was I wrong. I learned to be proud of who I was. Freshman year of high school has started since then. I'm out to anyone who asks, and I don't even care about the homophobes, so far everyone I've told has been really supportive.. I haven't told my grandparents yet though, I know that they won't approve, but they won't disapprove. So my whole plan there is to come walking through the door one day holding hands with my boyfriend, so then they have no choice! I found this site and thought it might be a good place to go whenever I had doubts about things. I'm liking everything I'm seeing so far too!
Oh, cool! How is Idaho? Yes, I live in Ottawa . Have you ever visited Canada? I have been to Syracuse and Florida. I will be going to Washington State next month to see my boyfriend .
Idaho just keeps getting colder and colder. No, the closest I've ever been to the Canadian border was when I was trying to visit a national park for a picnic with my family. And aww that's sweet!! What end of Washington? Seattle or Spokane?
Oh, okay! Well, it is getting colder because Winter is coming . He lives in Tacoma, Washington . It will be a 10 hour plane ride.
Yeah, I'm just not used to it yet either. It was a hot summer and I'm still used to that weather. Ewugh. Long plane rides are not fun. But I can tell it'll be worth it!
Well, I am used to it being cold, even in the summer sometimes. Well, it will definitely be worth it. I will be able to spend time with my partner.
Welcome. Thanks for your story. Paine is similar but I forced myself thinking I was straight until now even though I really knew in high school. I wish I could turn back time and live my life over, but I'm determined to figure out how to make it work now
Just don't let others get you down. If they discourage you, well then they're not important. Doesn't matter who it is that's telling you that being gay is not okay, even if it's your parents. Just ignore the hate and do what's right for you at your own pace.
