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Confused...and okay with that.

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by UneTasseduThe, Oct 1, 2013.

  1. UneTasseduThe

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Ohio, U.S.
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Greetings, all.

    I am a wayward high-schooler living in Ohio in the U.S. While I find life stressful quite often (anyone who doesn't?), I enjoy it thoroughly and am happily confused regarding myself, my relations, and the outside world. Really--I'm stoked.

    To give you a good mental image of who I am, you can picture a halfling sporting dark olive cargo pants, thick vintage ankle-boots, a puffy white shirt with a corduroy vest, and a dapper dark-leather tophat seated atop a 1930s model bright green Shwinn, cycling without the use of the handlebars in efforts to balance in-hand a green ex-compost bucket containing school books, writing implements, a few novels/mangas and a cat while the other hand props up an absolutely massive laptop upon which sits a full tea set, a small boulder with an adorable ":3" face painted on it, ropes/chains, and other various fun gear.

    Whew! I am here on Empty Closets primarily due to that I found it while seeking advice online about my "feelings". I consider myself straight, and I pretty much always have. I've dated couple girls, but it didn't really work out. For the most part I just didn't feel it. However, I look back when I'm around one girl that I dated for a while and still feel like I love her beyond our platonic friendship and I wonder how I really feel.

    My father raised me like my [much] older brother, so I've always been a bit on the masculine side, but I feel like I cross the gender line, particularly in behviour, fairly often. I'm not transgendered, but I am a bit gender-confused and sexuality confused. I can't imagine myself having sexual relations with a girl (or a guy, really--I have a spot of PTSD concerning that), but I'm attracted to females in a slightly different way.

    I truly don't know what I'm asking for advice on. I'm just asking for it. :dry:

    Earl Grey with a spot of milk to all who read! (I supposeyou can have a lump or two or three with that if you wish.)
     
  2. Chels

    Regular Member

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    Welcome to EC!

    I think I understand how you feel, it was pretty much how I was when I was 12-14 and realized I tended to look at girls and not only at boys. Unfortunately I can't really be of help, since the way I figured out was with time, and simply because I got tired of denying that there was something more to me, than just a regular straight person, but I hope everything works out for you well!
     
  3. LD579

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    You present yourself interestingly :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: But that's cool. I must say that it's a wonderful mindset that you're having about all of this. It can be hard for many to not have anything strictly definitive, but... it's not so bad, taking things as they come, rolling with the flow, accepting yourself, whoever you may be... you know? I'm sure you do! =)

    Welcome to EC. I love my tea with a lot of sugar but no milk... Or, well, I'd also put Coffee-Mate into it. But thanks :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  4. toushirojaylee

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    Hi and welcome to EC!
     
  5. UneTasseduThe

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Thanks for the welcome and support, all!

    Chels, if you don't mind me asking, what is it like being in a serious relationship with a female? Is it any different than being in a relationship with a male?

    Luthan... Coffee-Mate? In tea? I suppose I can't knock it until I try it, though. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: I do know! I like to be definite about things like this, but it really is nice to simply not be sure sometimes. In that case, many lumps and zero spots of milk to you. What type of tea do you prefer to take?
     
  6. LD579

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    Heh... You'd be surprised at how good Coffee-Mate in tea can taste. Have you ever had this or this? The former can be made while using things like Coffee-Mate. The latter's probably best with actual cream or something similar. They're easy to make, too, and while I may be biased, I do think that making it at home can yield very favourable and satisfying results, as I have done in the past.

    Call me typical — I prefer any type of black tea... without vanilla, and preferably not orange pekoe. But enough about me :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: I hope you find EC to be amiable. =)
     
  7. UneTasseduThe

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Straight but curious
    I'll have to try it sometime. I've seen both but consumed neither of those beverages. There was a local bubble tea shop that closed after about six months of business a few months ago. I'll add it to my list of unfulfilled tea ventures. :slight_smile:

    My tea preferences are very similar, though I don't like any added flavours.

    I have found the EC forums very comfortable, friendly, and enjoyable. Thank you.