Hello there everyone, my name's William, and I am a foreigner studying in an international school in Beijing China (my parents are expats here), and I'm in the 12th grade. I have been suffering from social anxiety disorder ever since I started high school and the anxiety has amplified to a whole nother level ever since I found out I was gay which was last summer, even though I had an inkling that I was gay ever since I was in middle school. I get extremely nervous and sometimes act like a spaz around good looking guys. Whenever I would look at a straight couple my eyes immediately go to the guy, and I had a small crush on the same guy for two years in 9th and 10th grade. Even though I talk and dress like a straight guy, I do have things in common with the stereotypical gay: I HATE playing sports (but I like watching them when my bro's around) I like "gay" pop music (even thiugh I listen to some alternative bands as well) and I like sappy chick flicks and reality competition shows (American Idol and ANTM to name a few). I was raised in a religious Christian background that completely condemns homosexuality, my family and everyone around me is also homophobic. We have a church here for foreigners but i'm sure that it isn't gay friendly. I just wanted to come on this site to make some new friends coz I just feel even more alone than I already am. Sorry if that was so long lol
Hello William. You are not alone here. I think you'll find this community very understanding and willing to help you sort everything out. I know for me it has me begin to work things out in my head and start to develop a game plan for the next stage of my life. Welcome to EC.
You are a foreigner studying in China? So cooool... I want to do this when i start college (want to try for Japan). And i know how hard it's to accept yourself surrounded by homophobic people, a lot of people here does it too... But hey, you accept it and now you are here, for sure you will find friends here. Anything you need just ask, Welcome to EC!
EC is a good place to start. Here, your sexuality is pretty much irrelevant. So I hope you have a good experience here and make some interesting connections. There's always stuff going on here so get really familiar with the new posts button Congrats on finding the courage to come here, it might not seem like much but it's definitely a wise step!
