First post and the first site I ever looked for in this realm. Took me quite a bit of nerve to register because I was unsure if I wanted to actually identify or keep hiding it. So here's my story somewhat abridged. 38 yr old recently divorced guy with a fantastic new girlfriend. I consider myself severely closeted and have never addressed my feelings with my ex or my current girlfriend. One time about 10yrs ago I made a comment to my ex about watching a bisexual porn and she flipped out and became extremely agitated.. Soo that conversation went nowhere. I've had my feelings and emotions since a young boy. I never really drew a line at being straight or gay or whatever there may have been. I was from what I would guess 70% straight and 30% not. I known that's a crude way to measure but I'm no expert on anything other than how I feel. I've been only in hetero relationships and had a couple of guy/guy experiences. Mostly very nervous and fumbling attempts. Being in the type of work I'm in, (automotive mechanics) and the type of extracurricular activities (motorcycles, tattoos, rock music) there is a huge stigma against homosexual or bisexual men. So I've never dared share my tendencies with a single person. My current girlfriend is an open minded soul who has had her share of life experience. She probably wouldn't identify as bisexual but was in a lesbian relationship when we met. She said it was a phase and has since moved away from that lifestyle. I'm not her and can't speak for her on the matter. Increasingly though I've found myself more and more drawn to my bi side. For me though and I'm not sure if its normal or not my interest is purely sexual and not emotional. I have no interest in relationships or romantic connections. Only a sexual interest and when its done its done. I've read a bit on it and overheard conversations saying its just a depraved mind. Maybe its a problem to be sexually attracted to the same sex. I don't know the facts, or have the literature to support anything. I'm simply a guy who for all the world is a straight, female loving normal dude..but inside of me is a much different animal. So that's why I came here. To read what others have written, to see what roads others are on and to hopefully find a road that leads me towards a happier existence. One thats open and honest with everyone especially myself. Thanks for reading. Looks forward to stating a while and hope I didn't or don't offend with my inexperience or ignorance.
