Hello friends from around the world, I thought I would introduce myself to the forum as I plan to stick around for as long as necessary... and so it's only natural that I give you all a glimpse of what I'm all about! Well, interestingly enough, I'm still searching for who I truly am. I don't know if there will be a day where this question will or can be answered - it could simply be as rhetorical as asking what the meaning of life is. Or perhaps it's when true happiness is found. Alas, I do not know, but maybe, just maybe, there are some friendly folks here who will guide me to the truth. After all, that's what we all seek, yes? In return, I hope to do the same for others on here as well. All that aside, here's the rundown: My name is Matt, though lately I prefer MJ. It's what my friends at home call me and it's much more gender neutral. I'm 24 and reside in the cold northern country of Canada, eh. Only recently have I discovered that I am not fully satisfied with my gender-classified male status. For as long as I can remember, I've always been more attuned to the female way of thinking. As a child, I was drawn to a lot more feminine ideas than masculin onese, whether it be colours, toys, characters, what have you. Really though, I'm trying to change that, at least for myself. I dislike how society has split gender lines from before we are even born. "Boys wear blue, girls wear pink. Boys play with cars, girls play with dolls. Boys like girls, girls like boys" etc. I'm sure I'm not the only one here on EC who finds this way of thinking unnerving and slightly depressing. And far be it from me to know what is best for every person; this is simply how I've come to accept myself and understand that we do not have to fall within the boundaries of gender/sexual identity that society, rather aggessively at times, puts forth. And it's comforting to know that it doesn't have to be that way, for anyone. ...But I'm getting ahead of myself. When I was 19, I came out as a homosexual to my family and closest friends. At the time, it was the hardest hurdle I had reached in my life, but I cleared it and it felt so amazing. It felt like I could finally be my true self. At least I felt that way for a few years. Five years later, here I am, faced with questions of whether or not this is the true me. Yes, I've determined I like guys, but now I'm not so sure whether that makes me homosexual or an off-beat heterosexual. Without going into too much detail in my first post (sorry, it's already quite long!), I have recently begun a spiritual path of enlightenment to discover where my true happiness lies. This was, in many ways, revealed to me that I may not in fact identify as a male, but rather a female. I tend to view everything on a spectrum, and so I'd like to think that I'm much more emotionally aligned with the thoughts, feelings and actions of a girl. Does this make me transgendered? Or transexual? Pansexual? I'm really not sure at this point. And so this is why I'm here. To seek answers and learn from the experiences and stories of others to help me understand. So there you have it! If anyone did actually read all of this, I apologize for the lengthy monotonous read, but thank you so very much for reading it. It helps even just to write about my feelings. I already feel more at ease and... somehow safer. For the too long to read version... Hi, my name's MJ, I'm 24, gender ambiguous searching for the truth and looking to chat/meet some like-minded individuals. Pleased to meet you all and I look forward to what EC has to offer!
I read all of it, and I like your mind set. I see my gender and sexuality as the perfect match for me, but what you said about how your still trying to figure out who you are. I lost my self a long time ago, and im still picking up the pieces myself. I picked up most of them, but im not sure if im there yet at times. Anyways, welcome to EC MJ! It's nice to meet you.
Hi Shadow, nice to meet you too! Thanks for the warm welcome. I'm very happy to hear that you are on the right path for yourself. It's comforting to know that others are trying to pick up the pieces too haha. Hope to see you around and if you ever need an ear...!
Hello, nice to meet you MJ! And yes, I did read through all of that. Offnote, thanks for taking the time to type all that. Gender stereotypes bug me as well. I do get made fun of because I'm not Masculine, but before I get into details about myself, thank you for sharing your feelings with us. I hope that the EC community(Not sure if correct word. ) can help you, MJ.
Thanks for the read and all of the friendly welcomes everyone! Much appreciated, I can tell this place is already an awesome place to be.
Yes I read it all because I like to read so no worries. I used to go to Canada every other week with my dad when school was out. We were sitting in the truck one day and watching people go into a large restaurant. I said " dad, why is everyone running into that building"? Once we got out to go inside I found out why. Cold is an understatement. With the windchill it was -30 degrees. Beautiful country though. Welcome to ec.
Welcome to EC. I am pleased to meet you. And I can to some degree understand what you are talking about. Your post also reminded me of a video from the VlogBrothers I saw and really liked. It's called, "Human Sexuality is Complicated... ". You can find it on Youtube and It's pretty good. Go watch it. I would link it but the system currently disagrees with this idea.
Haha how cute! Thanks for sharing that story. Indeed, Canada has rather relentless winters no matter where you may be living or visiting, some days I feel it necessary that I live in a more stable climate, but for now I cannot due without a blustery winter every year. Hi there! I will certainly check out that video you suggest later today and get back to you on my thoughts - it sounds very intriguing and something I really need to watch. I think anything related to what truly defines our sexuality is pertinent to unlocking answers for myself. To everyone else, thanks for the lovely welcomes.
