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New Human to the Site.

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by ThatOneHuman, Nov 12, 2013.

  1. ThatOneHuman

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    Hello there to all!

    Where to start, where to start....

    WELL~

    Like it basically says in my info...thingie, I have female anatomy, but I exhibit both the female and male gender. I don't really wear makeup unless it's Halloween or it's some sort of very special occasion, and my clothing isn't all too feminine, as I find male clothes to be more comfortable to wear and appear in 80% of the time. My friends have been split into either referring to me as their sister or their little brother. All through 7th to my Junior year of high school, I had thought I was supposed to be a male. I then realized my senior year that it was okay to be more than just the gender you are anatomy wise and realized that I was Bi-gendered! So, go ahead and refer to me as a male or female, I honestly do not care either way.

    As for my sexuality, that has been an interesting journey to figuring it out, let me tell you. I was raised in a very strict Christian family, so I had thought "I'm supposed to be with boys." However, once I had actually gotten a grip on what general sexuality even was (mostly realizing that some people don't like the opposite sex) I realized that there were girls I found attractive. So then, I thought I only liked girls, because I thought it was one or the other. That one didn't last all too long before I moved on to believing myself to be Bi-sexual. It wasn't until I had started dating a MtF Transgender that I became even more confused. As, I didn't really give a damn that she was still physically a male at the time but was female. Once I finally figured out that I was Pansexual however, the A-romantic part decided it was going to go ahead and throw me for a pretty little loop.

    I had always felt like my relationships were rather one sided, like they were giving and I was doing absolutely nothing but receiving. In fact, nearly every single relationship has ended in them getting tired of not feeling loved by me when they were giving everything they had to try and make me happy. Now, I absolutely hate not making people happy, so the fact that there was always something missing on my part of relationships bothered me to no end, because I wanted to make them happy, but I didn't know how or what I could possibly do in order to make them happy. I found that in every relationship, no matter how hard I tried to have some kind of "romantic" bond with them, I could never get past "really good friend". I had gotten to the point where I realized I only dated people who I thought where awesome friends because they took a romantic interest in me and I wanted to make them happy by having one for them in return, something that I simply could not do. It got so bad that it started to mentally eat away at me at times, I thought there was something wrong with me, my family thought there was something wrong with me (they still do) because they all about getting married and having children. So, once I realized what was really going on, it was like a giant weight was lifted from my shoulders, one I didn't even know was there to begin with.

    It was then that I realized I love people, but I don't love people. At least, not how most people can manage to do.

    (It is because of this that I refrain from dating and relationships, keeping everything strictly friends and those awesome friends that you consider brothers/sisters.)

    Unfortunately, my mother is the only person who has ever said the word "A-romantic" in conversations when talking to people about me. Other family members brush it off as a phase until I "find the right one", and that then I will get married and have children. Which, I honestly never plan to do. Sadly, only a few cousins and one aunt know about me being Pansexual, because anybody else in my family would tell me that I'm possessed by a demon or that I am going to go straight to Hell.

    BUT, to get to a much lighter subject, me~!

    :smilewave

    The name is Mariah, though, nobody calls me that, not even my own family members.
    I suppose my most "popular" nicknames are AJ, Ri, Riah, Prince, Val, and Velly.
    Just call me whatever the Hell you want, really, I'm pretty chill about stuff like that.

    I love art. More specifically sketching, horror makeup, and body art.
    Within the year of 2014 I will be starting up classes to get my tattooing license.

    I believe all people are beautiful.
    Tall, short, skinny, fat, black, white, anything in between, anything at all.
    (Everyone is :***:ing gorgeous, and don't you let anyone ever tell you otherwise!!)

    I adore horror movies.
    Unfortunately I have watched so much horror and things of the like that I've become pretty desensitized to things like that.
    However, I am terrified of dolls!
    I am always looking for some good horror movies to watch.
    (And some bad ones. I love B-Horror movies with all their terrible plot and CGI glory.)

    Halloween is my favorite holiday.
    If it would not get me fired from my current job, I would wear costumes and face-paint and whatnot every damn day of my life!

    [CreepyPasta is best pasta!]

    I looove reading, and writing.
    I like taking photos (nature, random stuff, other people).

    I like singing.
    I like music in general.
    If I'm not listening to music, I'm probably thinking about music or singing music myself.
    My favorite band is Halestorm, but my favorite singular artist is Lady Gaga.
    I sing and "dance" in the car when I'm riding with someone and seeing people laugh at it makes me smile for some odd reason.
    I sing and dance around in grocery stores.
    Basically...
    Music is life.
    Haha~

    I collect frogs because frogs are awesome.
    I also like owls, and I think if I had to be an animal...I'd probably be an owl.

    My favorite food is Spaghetti.
    Well, pretty much my favorite food families are meats and pastas.
    Though, my signature has some of my favorite in it.
    I like trying foods and restaurants, which I do often.
    Also, I am one of those odd balls who takes pictures of their food and makes a blog about it.

    ANYWAYS~

    I think I've talked enough!

    (*hug*)​
     
  2. Yogaar2au

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    Welcome to EC! You signature is amazing :O!
     
  3. lovely lesbian

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    Hello welcome hope u enjoy x
     
  4. Shazzy22

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    Hey Mariah I'm Shavash also new here :slight_smile: You sound awsome and despite your problems seem very intune with yourself. I know it can be difficult not living up to other peoples expectations but all we can do is be ourselves! Nice to "meet" you :slight_smile:
     
  5. lukeluvznicki13

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    Welcome to EC! :grin: :smilewave (*hug*)
     
  6. English Frenchman

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    Welcome, O Welcome, Pilgrim.
     
  7. TheStrongestLink

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  8. Silver Sparrow

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  9. Zeevie

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    Hi :smilewave welcome to EC!
     
  10. GayNerd

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    Welcome! I hope you enjoy EC. :newcolor:
     
  11. DannyBoi66

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    After the last lines, my tummy was craving for something yummy. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: So Hiya... AJ it is! Welcome to EC, as everyone has just said. I love your favourite food too, and YES: Music IS life. *Hi Fives* :welcome: :goodluck: :thumbsup:
     
  12. danobi

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    Im new too, hi
     
  13. geek101

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    welcome

    what's pansexual?

    ---------- Post added 12th Nov 2013 at 04:37 PM ----------

    welcome

    what's pansexual?
     
  14. ThatOneHuman

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    From the Queer Dictionary:

    Definition

    Pansexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by a potential aesthetic attraction, romantic love and/or sexual desire for anybody, including people who do not fit into the gender binary of male/female implied by bisexual attraction. The term pansexual is typically used to describe sexual attraction but, as stated earlier, is also used to denote romantic attraction. Pansexuality is sometimes described as the capacity to love a person romantically irrespective of gender. Some pansexuals also assert that gender and sex are meaningless to them. Others say that gender plays an important role in their attraction to someone while not being a deciding factor.

    "Pansexual" is an identity and, therefore, is not a definitive statement as it can and does mean different things to different people.

    Usage

    Used by people who feel they are attracted to people outside the gender binary, or those who are attracted to the person, not the gender.

    "Pansexual" is technically an adjective but is also colloquially used as a noun, similar to "gays" and "lesbians."

    Example:

    Gay folks are defined as people who have the potential to be attracted to those of the same gender. Bisexual folks are typically defined as those who are potentially attracted to people falling within two gender identities (one, the other, or both). Pansexual folks are potentially attracted to any individual.
     
  15. CupcakeKisses

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    Agreed!

    Welcome to EC!
     
  16. toushirojaylee

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    Hi and welcome to EC!