Hey, So I've been exploring this sites for about two days now and have never been one to share, not even with my best of friends. My dumb reasoning is why burden them with my problems and bring them down.That coupled with an unreasonable amount of trust and self consciousness issues. So this is my first time letting anything out and talking to other people about me and my personal thoughts. To begin, I never really had an ahaa moment realizing i was gay. Even registering i hesitated to select my orientation. As a preteen I never got the idea of why guys were so infatuated with the female form. But i never connected the dots since I wasn't interested in anything at the time. I went through puberty really late (15-16) due to some health problems I have, so i just blamed it on that. But even during and after puberty I wasn't looking at girls but i never gave it much thought. I didn't try dating in high school partly because once again too self conscious. I was asked out for the first time by a girl when I was 18 and didn't feel much more than a friendship connection, but i didn't know what a relationship was supposed to feel like so I went along with it anyway. It didn't last more than a few months. All throughout this I occasionally looked at guys but just assumed I was envious of their looks trying to deny being gay to myself. Denying the fact that i was gay went on for several years and I finally came to terms with it about a year ago. As for my family there is an aunt who turned out to be lesbian and a few of the family members have cut all ties to her and the rest of the family kind of accept it but avoid her for the most part. That is why one of the reasons coming out is just not an option for the time being. I am dependent on my family for more than just emotional support its an issue of life saving insurance.
Well, for someone who doesn't share easily, well done! That must have been tough to write! Regarding your family, have you ever asked them about WHY they avoid your aunt now? Try and see their thoughts that way?
Thanks. As for my family avoiding my aunt, my family is all uncomfortable with her lifestyle especially with their christian religious views.
First of all- good job sharing so much! That must have been hard. If your parents are going to financially cut you off, that would be bad. You have to take care of yourself, and no matter what, you are brave. Queer existence, queer survival is brave.
Takes a lot to admit as much when you don't like sharing things like that. Well done. Still, welcome. You're safe here to post whatever you feel you need to about yourself.
