Hello: I'm new here. I won't use my real name, but you can call me Shadow. In a nutshell, I'm female, 47, living in Texas (not the most open-minded place around). I've considered myself bicurious for a long time but never really considered what it meant to me until recently, so I was looking for someplace to get support and advice. I've now had three failed heterosexual marriages and am finally beginning to understand why. I am piecing together clues about myself I should have seen long ago, but am having difficulty accepting myself. That seems odd to me, since I have never had any trouble accepting others in the LGBT spectrum, or any other spectrum for that matter. I have plenty of friends and family who are LGBT, and I should be able to go and ask them about it, but I just can't. I don't want my own lack of self-acceptance to make those I care about think they shouldn't accept themselves. I have a transgender child I encourage and support, but I can't even talk to him about myself because I absolutely do not want him to ever think he should feel the self-loathing I sometimes feel because I can't be what I was taught I should be. I try very hard to make sure he feels completely accepted and loved, and encouraged to be who he is. Finding support to make me feel that way is another matter; so far, I'm on my own. It's good to find an online community for this.
Welcome to EC! (^_^)^ You accept your child as they are because you recognize that they are absolutely perfect as they are. They deserve to have others support and accept them as they are. They deserve to be with someone who will love them as they are. You are no different and deserve no different. Our backgrounds are not always as supporting as we would wish them to be, but there comes a time when we have to recognize that the person those around us may have wanted us to be is not always the best choice for us and our lives. You already know that you will have a supporter in your son and there will certainly be others out there who love you no less. Don't let yourself and your background prevent you from finding contentment with yourself and the life you live.
Based on my experience..Acceptance will be the best gift from you. Shower him/her with love all the time. She will grow with respect and love for you. No matter how hard the situation is, do not let him/her down. That's what parents do.
Thanks I actually have felt a lot better after posting this yesterday. I've been trying to find acceptance within myself, understanding why I have felt about myself the way I do. As for my son (who was born a girl but prefers to be addressed as a male, so I stick to the male pronouns whenever possible), I do everything I can to show my love and support. He knows I would never judge him or stop loving him.
Welcome!! It amazing that you are encouraging your son and yet must find a bit of energy to encourage yourself to walk your own path too. He is actually giving the lesson to all of us about feeling love without being judge by those who we love. Yeahp... Texas is such a poem... not very open about the issue, but don't worry you're not by yourself!
