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Unsure of what to do

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by HardToSay, Dec 29, 2013.

  1. HardToSay

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    Hello everybody,

    I am not sure I am in the right place, posting this, so if I am not, please tell me, I won't be offended.

    I am 40 years old and I am married with two kids who are still rather little, grade school little.

    My wife is convinced I am gay and says she can live with it as long as I do not act as feminine, because that really ticks her off.

    My problem is that when I read about gay men, I do not see myself in them, and therefore, I do not consider myself gay.

    Anybody else in my sxituation?
     
  2. HardToSay

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    Let me add that I am in love with my wife and I do not want to lose my family. That being said, I have done a couple of things that have really ticked my wife off in the last year and a half. First, about 15 months ago I started hormones which in a matter of 6-7 months changed my appearance quite a bit, also coupled with laser hair removal.
     
  3. Larry

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    Welcome to EC I hope it all works out for you xx
     
  4. HardToSay

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    Then, 6 months ago, the situation at home became unbearable since my wife was growing more and more nervous, we would fight basically every day. At that point I stopped taking hormones and now, 7-8 months later things have reversed. I went from a 36-b to basically almost nothing, like an a or aa. My hips have lost the width they had gained and my face looks man shaped again. I am growing hair again, on my face, as well, and I look pretty manly again.

    My pe*is has gotten bigger again (it had shrunken quite a bit which made my wife very mad, although it is not like we have had a lot of sex in all the years we have been married) and has regained the ability to get "happy". My behind is not as puffy anymore, as well. Long story short I reversed basically completely.

    Then a month ago I confessed to my wife that before I had met her, I had dated two guys in college, on and off for a year and a half. She got very upset, she started asking very rude questions like: "have you ever s*cked a pe*is?". Or "have you ever gotten a pe*is up your a*s?" I did not want to lie to her and so I admitted to both, although also explaning that it is not like that is all we did in these two relationships.

    She says she cannot see me as a man anynore, and that knowing that I dated men and slept with men, has compeltely changed the way she sees me.

    ---------- Post added 29th Dec 2013 at 05:16 PM ----------

    Thanks Larry.

    How long have you known that you are gay, if I may ask?

    :slight_smile:
     
  5. Larry

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    I have known for a while but only come out recently,it never come as a surprise to anyone
     
  6. HardToSay

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    Do you have feminine mannerism? Have you been with a guy, yet?
     
  7. Larry

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    I am slightly femenine yes, and yes I have been with a few hun xx
     
  8. HardToSay

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    Do you enjoy women as well, or just men?
     
  9. Larry

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    I used to enjoy women until I had been with a man and i havent been with one since
     
  10. HardToSay

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    Had you fantasized and/or dreamed about men while you were still enjoying women?

    ---------- Post added 29th Dec 2013 at 05:41 PM ----------

    Would you fantasize and/or dream about men while still enjoying women?

    ---------- Post added 29th Dec 2013 at 05:43 PM ----------

    Would you dream/fantasize about men while still enjoying women?

    ---------- Post added 29th Dec 2013 at 05:43 PM ----------

    Would you dream/fantasize about men while still enjoying women?
     
  11. Myhipsdolie

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    Hello and welcome! It's nice to meet you ^_^

    Gender and sexuality are on two different boats, it may be a long road but you'll eventually find out yourself where you belong.