Hi I am Emily

Hello,

So here is my story. I was born a male with a cleft lip\palet and before I was 4 I wanted to be a girl. I saw my female friends and wanted to wear dresses like they did, I wanted long hair like they did and i wanted the parts they had between their legs(played showme with 2 of my girl cousins). Every once in a while i would get a random piece of girl clothes and i would hide it quickly. Fast forward a few years my parents were divorced and i went to live with my dad and suddenly i had a step sister. i hung out with her and more than a few times played dressup with her. i wanted more than anything to be her little sister. i would sneak her bras and skirts out of the dirty clothes and wear them when i had a chance to be alone. Which was fine until she got mad at me one time when she cought me in one of her bras and freaked out. that was my first hint that what i was doing wasnt normally accepted. Never the less i wished to be her sister and prayed every night that i would wake up and be a girl (still do, not that it helps) Little more forward went to live with my mom and continued my ritual wishing and even got my mom to buy some gender nutral clothing. About a year later i got a girlfriend(didnt do anything to curb the desire to be female) Little did she know i started taking her bras and panties( in hindsight i knew that was wrong and now wish i haddent) One night my mom came back from a night of drinking and found me wearing on of my gf's bras and she freaked and yelled at me and threaghtened to chop off my peen. So i was horrified at the prospect even though it was kinda what i wanted. A few weeks later i attempted to cut it off myself(lucky the knife was so dull it couldnt cut hot butter)
well that is enough of the past for now, on to the present. I still wish i were female though i concider myself somewhat of a lesbian(yes i know what this implies) I am sitting at work writing this wearing female underwear with D size breastforms and even though no one has said anything i am sure someone has noticed and untill someone complains about it i will wear my boobs everyday. I know i am too ugly to transition and i dont want to be a cosmeticly created female so untill i get more desperate i will deal with being a man wearing womans clothes.
the reason i put down neither in my orientation is sexually men and women are equal to me, neither are more disireable for sex than the other. i like looking at women more but i think that might be more covetous than attraction.
if anyone wants to chat or is curious about me just ask. if nothing else i am honest with people that are willing to understand.

hope to talk to someone soon
Emily Ann

 

Hi Nick,

i am seperated from my wife (she is very disaproving saying it makes her feel like less of a woman), living with two roommates that are understanding ( her more than him). i wear only womens clothes at home and usually wear a night gown to sleep(i am more of a comfort girl)

Thank you for the welcome, it is nice to talk bto people that understand.
Emily Ann

---------- Post added 8th Jan 2014 at 02:12 PM ----------

TJ
Your welcome, i wasnt sure anyone would read the whole thing. There is a LOT more to the story but i thought i would keep it as breif as i could, hehe.
Emily Ann

 

Thank you WillyCubed

I want SOOOO much to be a woman but i dont want to have sugery to do it. Other times its nice to be a guy, like when there is a 25 ft log in the road and i am the only one that can move it(happened recently). I am just really confused about who (or what) i am. Love having boobs like being srtong not sure if there is suppose to be a trade off somewhere.

 

Maybe i need to find someone that will treat me like a lady. I have always felt the obligation to be more gentalmanly. the only time i really enjoy my male anatomy is when i am in a hurry to pee. lol other than that i dont notice it much. Although it might seem odd but i really like the feeling when i am tucked, i love the flat front although due to my weight and size it takes heavy duty panties to hold it under there. hehe
Oh btw i also am in birmingham. i live in alabaster.

 

I take a peek on CL every now and then but most of the guys there (even in the platonic section) are way too pervy. I mean i like doing some of what they want but it takes a bit more class to get me in bed with someone.

 

A walk in the park and dinner with him pulling out my chair, holding the door for me. Sigh..... These are dreams of mine. I think if someone told me i was pretty in person, I think i would feint!! hehe. What i need is to find a transman that wants a transwoman. Not impossible but highly unlikely.