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Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by bitheway7, Jan 9, 2014.

  1. bitheway7

    Regular Member

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    Hey all.

    How I changed my mind about LGBT matters
    Way back in 2008, someone came out to me as a crossdresser. I did _not_ react well and was not interested in learning anything about the matter. Was pretty much against the vast majority of LGBT related things. A few months later, I became OK with reading up on some things and ended up on a crossdressing board, but I was still of the opinion that LGBTetc stuff was not OK.

    A couple years later, in December 2010, I met a trans gal online...I was a pretty devout Mormon. In late spring/early summer we started butting heads about LGBT matters. Over the course of that year she made me rethink my stance on lots of things though. I realized I was OK with most things LGB..except gay marriage or adoption. I was all for transfolk protection laws, treat everyone with respect, etc., but just didn't think transitioning was necessary. My overall views were "some LGBT things are a sin, but why should I judge others for sinning differently than I do".

    Our differing views (predictably!) created tension between us and she started cutting me out and talking to me less and less. Long story short, I was sure I was in the right here, so I prayed that this friend would realize that what she was doing was not the right thing, but I ended up as the one who got corrected by by God. I figured out how transitioning fit into the Mormon religion, and it blew my mind. From that point forward, I was completely accepting of trans* stuff.

    January 2012 i became ok with the idea of non hetero marriage. i kept asking myself: why am i ok with the idea of my gender neutral friend being married but gay and lez people can’t? i was unable to answer that question to my satisfaction.

    Why I'm not Mormon anymore
    The judgemental "holier than thou" attitude many Mormons have has always bothered me, as has the odd double standard here and there. I went through the Mormon temple Nov 2010 for my endowments and was dismayed by how women were treated as 2nd class citizens and realized that was the case in more than just in the temple. Though that made me somewhat uneasy, I STILL remained a "faithful, active, righteous" Mormon, until early this year.

    Later that month...my parents snooped through the laptop that I had paid for and realized I had transsexual friends. They gave me so much shit...this made me much more aware of how badly the Mormon church shits on LGBTetc ppls. After unsuccessfully attempting to resolve the issue on my own, I went to local Mormon Church leaders who didn't take me seriously. Neither did my regular Mormon peers. I realized that the people who actually helped me were all LGBT. Mormons just talked. Supportive LGBT people vs. unresponsive Mormons? I think I'll go with supportive LGBT people, thank you much.

    Last summer I decided I was exmormon. I couldn't handle being in a church that continued to shit on such awesome people. (Since then, my reasons for staying out have just continued to grow) I also realized I'm not heterosexual. I've been dating a trans gal since Sept. 2012. =)
     
  2. BradThePug

    Full Member

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    Welcome to EC :slight_smile:

    I can relate a lot to formerly being homophobic. I went to a highly conservative United Methodist church, so I used to be one of those people holding the "god hates gays" signs.

    Congrats on figuring things out! It's hard when you are told something is wrong to actually think of yourself being a member of that group.
     
  3. justsid

    Regular Member

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    Out to everyone
    Thanks for that testimony bitheway7. Inspiring, welcome to EC.