To start things off, my name is Andrew, and if you didn't notice my orientation status, I'm gay. That is only one part of me, however. I am also a huge computer nerd, video game connoisseur, texture artist, nature lover, paracord bracelet weaver, MtG player, audiophile, and jewelry enthusiast (rocks are pretty, k?). If masculinity was measure on a scale of 1-10, I'd say I'm about a 7, not macho, but not feminine. Before you read on, let me just apologize for the length of my introduction. I've had all of this bottled up in my head for about a year and I really just need to write it out. I've never had any real attraction towards any female, though I did have a "girlfriend" for like a day in elementary school, heh. I discovered I was gay sometime in middle school. I don't really remember which grade it was, but I definitely remember staring at all the hot guys in the locker rooms, lol. I finally came out to my parents last year, about 10 minutes after the ball dropped on new year's. (dramatic, right? :rolle My parents took it fairly well. I didn't think I'd be disowned or anything similar to that scenario.. but I did at some points have my doubts. Before I had come out, I was an emotional wreck. (hiding such a large secret for more than a decade usually does that to you.. imagine that) Building depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, etc. I knew I HAD to come out ASAP, because that toxic emotional cocktail was just ruining me. When I finally built up the courage and told them, it was just the most amazing feeling as a huge weight was lifted off of my chest. Of course, they asked me if I was sure I was gay, which after secretly crushing on so many guys and having seen and liked as much gay porn as I had, it was a no-brainer for me. Like I said, they took it pretty well for two extremely religious parents ("we'll always love you, etc."), but as I had expected they were by no means pleased. (I later found out via Mom that my Dad had cried himself to sleep that night, which hit me pretty hard :icon_sad They pretty quickly made it crystal clear that they did not support the lifestyle I was to become involved in. (which was a response I had definitely anticipated and mentally prepared for, but still hurt like hell to hear from them) They still maintain that stance as of today, though things are a bit less awkward. At the time, I also had a boyfriend on the internet. He was/ is an extremely attractive soldier in the army whom I was totally smitten with. (I later broke up with him do to his religious intolerance, which was a good move since he ended up being a jerk) I probably went a little overboard that night by showing him off to them. (whoops..) I couldn't help it though. I felt so freed, so excited and I wanted to share those feelings and my LIFE with everyone, especially with my parents. According to family/ friends, I came across as rather cocky and like I was trying to shove it in their face. (I can see that now I suppose, but at the time I felt like I had all this time to make up for! :icon_redf) I really made things worse one day when my best friend's boyfriend (who has quite the temper sometimes) insulted my soldier. I was absolutely furious, mostly because I knew that if I had done the same thing to his girlfriend, he would have probably physically destroyed me. I sent back a text, in defense of my soldier, and that only made him even more furious. He got so angry with me that he made it clear I wasn't welcome to hang out with him or my best friend. :dry: So, I ignored them for about 6 months, which I seriously regret. I missed them both so much; they were my only real friends at the time. There was no way I was letting him win that game, though. After holding out for so long, I finally "won." They both randomly appeared in my room one day telling me they had missed me, etc. and I was absolutely ecstatic. We talked for at least a half hour before they left me to my solitude. I couldn't believe it, I had regained my best friends at last. (!) So yeah, that's (some of) my story. I think I will enjoy my time here on this site, and I hope you all enjoy having me around. Cheers!
Hello. Welcome to EC. You are very courageous, and I applaud you. We will definitely enjoy having you around Andrew.
