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Hey everyone!

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by thatbuddy, Feb 19, 2014.

  1. thatbuddy

    Regular Member

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    Im not really sure what Im doing here, all I know is that Im glad that there is a place where I can talk about the things I feel.

    Im a regular guy, had my fair share of women, love sports, and all that stuff, but at the end of the day, I just hate myself... I hate who I am and the feelings that I have.

    I recently met someone and the last week has been at the same time the worst and the best time of my life...

    Anyways, not sure what else to share... All I know is that I've been crying myself to sleep every night since, and I cant even look myself in the mirror anymore.

    Thanks for listening, I have no one else to talk to :/
     
  2. lovely lesbian

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    Hello! You have come to the right place for support.
     
  3. FireSmoke

    FireSmoke Guest

    Hi and welcome to EC!

    You're not alone, we are a friendly bunch ready to help everybody.

    I understand you well. In the past I hated myself too but now it seems I'm beginning to accept myself.

    So, if you need a friend to talk to, feel free to message me :slight_smile:
     
  4. sandrew255

    Regular Member

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    Hi Buddy

    Welcome - I'm sure you'll like it here whatever.
    I'm sorry you're having a hard time. But I imagine many people here can tell you that they have been through something approaching your current dilemma.
    I live in the UK - you will never bump into me, and I know nothing about you, so it's safe to talk about anything if you want. If you want.....
    look after yourself.
     
  5. Candace

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    Hello! Welcome to EC! :slight_smile: Pleasure to meet you.
     
  6. thatbuddy

    Regular Member

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    Hey guys, thank you so much for all the replies...

    You know, every second that goes by it just gets harder and harder... I can barely eat, my stomach hurts, i can really focus on work and its been really tough...

    I met this dude about 5 days ago, and he is such an incredible person that I cant even explain... and the fact that I allowed myself to get involved kills me... I dont accept the fact that I like something other than women... I cant accept the fact that for the first time it feels right...

    I also know that this short relationship is probably gonna be over soon, he is just "helping me out", but I cant help but think what would happen next?! How am I gonna be able to live with myself... Im as it str8 as they come... I dont know... All i know is that it hurts really, really bad...

    Then again, thank you so much for the replies and for reading my stuff
     
  7. Welcome to EC man! This is a wonderful place to vent away. We're all friendly and helpful on here!

    I recently discovered that I'm gay and people would never be able to tell that I am by looking at me. Even if you are indeed gay, please ignore all the stereotypes you see on tv. There's nothing wrong about being gay either so don't beat yourself up!

    I'm wishing you the best but again, if you need someone to listen to you we're all here for ya! :slight_smile:
     
  8. Owl333

    Owl333 Guest

    Welcome to EC!:slight_smile: Nice to meet you.
     
  9. thatbuddy

    Regular Member

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    Thanks again guys...

    After a horrible day here at work without being able to focus and stuff Im thinking im just gonna tell this guys that I didnt really like it and that we should stop seeing each other and move on with my life... leave this all behind.

    At the end of the day, I am falling for this person that I just met which shows how emotionally damaged I am... Soon enough he will move on since he has no idea im going trough all this and thinks he is just helping me experiment and Im gonna suffer like crazy...

    I wish I had the balls to face this like a man, or even just enjoy the moment but I cant, Ive been trying to play it cool but its not working out, Im just gonna end it all before it gets worst.

    Thanks agains guys!
     
  10. apostrophied

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  11. tulips2198

    tulips2198 Guest

    Hello Love :slight_smile: I'm Nisha
     
  12. sandrew255

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    Hey Big Guy, how's it going?
    I only just read your posts - sounds like you need a sounding board - I can be that if you want - no agenda.
    But whatever, I hope things improve for you - I'm sure they will. Take care
     
  13. thatbuddy

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    Hey, thank you so much!

    Well, theyve gotten a little better, not gonna lie. But I still have days where everything is so dark and I just wanna disappear.

    Im working on it and trying to be strong, but I really dont have many friends to talk too and to share this so most of the time i feel super lonely which is the worst part of all of this.

    Not gonna give up, but somethings gotta give