Hi

Hello everyone. I found this community while searching for some been-there-done-that stories for my own situation. After much back and forth, I decided to sign up and seek some friendship/support/advice etc. I figured I'd start here.

Sooo... an introduction -

I'm 31. I'm married to a man - for just about 11 years now. We have 2 kids (6 & 9). ...and I'm a lesbian. The only people who know are 2 of my closest friends and my husband. It's extremely difficult at times. It's a good marriage in that we really don't fight, we're a good team raising our kids, and genuinely enjoy each other. The reoccurring problem of course is when sex is the issue at hand. A year and a half ago I cheated on him (in what I realize was an attempt to so something unforgivable that he would leave me). When he found out, he refused to let me leave unless we tried to work things out first. So we started therapy - both marriage and I also went alone. It was during this time that I finally admitted to myself that I was a lesbian. After coming out to him, he still didn't want to give up on us and decided that we needed to come up with alternative options. ...and here we sit. Things are comfortably back to our normal...which in all honesty is probably just a ticking clock. But I'm stuck. Most days are good, but every so often this reoccurring wave that reminds me that I'm denying myself of who I am comes back. There's resentment, but there's also a deep love. It's complicated, but aren't we all.

Anyway.

That's probably more than needed for an introduction post. But I'm hoping that I'll find some support and friendship from some that really truly understand the position I am in. So if you made it though, thank you. I look forward to talking with you all more.

 

Thank you all.