Hi Everybody. Its good to be here!

Hi Guys. I’m 22 and have known that I was gay since I was about 13-14. Coming to terms with it has been difficult and only in the past three years I have gradually been coming out to a select group of people, including some of my closest friends, my parents and others. Most reactions have been rather positive though my dad does still seems to be in denial about it (although he would never admit to that). Overall, it has been a slow but accelerating process.

With regards to myself: I was born in Germany and lived there until I was 15 after which I moved to the UK with my parents where I finished school and went to Uni. That and my parents travelling a lot with me created a passion in me for other cultures and their differences as well as journeying around the globe. I think travelling can be one of the most rewarding experiences life has to offer. Other than that I like to play Rugby and Badminton, love to cook good food with friends, and recently got interested in stone sculpting. Friends and Family are a cornerstone of my life and are the most important thing to me. I believe that most things which are worth having on this planet (whether these are interpersonal/emotional skills, relationships, artistic expression or others) do not come easy and often require hard work and persistence to acquire them. Most of the time its worth it though. Lastly, occasional change is important to me to keep life interesting and colourful (whether that’s moving to a different city, switching jobs, or travelling to a different destination).

What I do struggle with at the moment is to get into the general gay scene (I live in London so there is a huge one right around the corner). I have been heavily overweight for a long time (started since the age of 12 and was a consequence of bullying and derision of my classmates at that time among other things) and am ashamed of that. I fear that large parts of the gay community will reject me for this reason not only in terms of romantic relationships but just generally (the thought of which particularly hurts). I know that that is most likely not true and that it is a warped view which has been built up by stereotypes, articles on this issue, previous experiences of rejection, and potentially the adult entertainment industry. One reason why I am here is to get some advice, comments and feedback from the community here so that I can get a realistic overview of what I can expect. I am not looking for pity nor advice about losing weight but just a realistic assessment. For me, its kinda a reality check and an important one for that matter because if I can readjust this warped view, it would make a lot of things easier.

Either way, from what I have seen this is a very kind and safe forum and I am looking forward to be a part of it.

 

Hey greatwhale,

Thank you very much for your insightful and helpful comments. You are right in that it is going to be more difficult for me although that should not stop me from trying. I guess one "advantage" in my position is that finding someone who can see past the mere physical will imply that this people will have a remarkable or at least an interesting character.

To answer your question about my Nickname: I recently got interested in stone sculpting and Soapstone is the material I have used primarily since I started though I have been experimenting with Alabaster and Pyrophyllite. Overall I prefer Soapstone because it is easy to carve and the entire process, from a raw block of stone to a polished sculpture, has a certain symbolism to it. A raw block looks pretty mundane but once you sand it down and start to polish it, it reveals an unexpected beauty and unique patterns. In this particular sense, I see an analogy between Soapstone and human beings because the process of building any kind of relationship, be it a romantic relationship, a friendship or even an acquaintance is comparable. In my experience, most people have something beautiful and unique within them which is revealed in the process of getting to know them (which sometimes requires some effort too). Hence, I chose this Nickname.