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Howdy Y'all

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by bamagirl, Mar 16, 2014.

  1. bamagirl

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    Hi everyone, my name is Taylor. I'm brand new to this site…I'm still sort of exploring it and figuring everything out but I'll introduce myself. I'm a native Northern Californian and am a college freshman attending University of Alabama (Roll Tide) on an academic scholarship. I'm premed or pre PhD (not really sure yet….) and love my school. I love the south but am still a Californian at heart.

    So why am I here? Well I'm bisexual, which I'm kind of just coming to terms with. It's weird, I have probably just as many gay friends as I have straight friends, and back home I was the treasurer for the GSA club at my school. I've marched in protest for gay rights, I'm going to be the maid of honor at my gay friend's wedding some time in the next couple years and I come from a very progressive family. My dad actually wrote a letter about a teacher he had when he was little (who was gay) and how he was like a father to my dad and how the man had caused my dad to be so passionate about gay rights and tolerant of all sexualities and now there's some award in honor of the guy. So…I mean I don't really know why accepting that I'm bisexual is so hard for me.

    But it has been. I'm really mostly straight, I think? The first time I ever had a crush on a girl I was 14, and it was short lived. Then I actually fooled around with a girl (touched, kissed, nothing huge) when I was 17, but that's been about it, until now. I'm in love with my best friend. It's hard to admit that for me. But I am madly in love with my best friend, despite the fact that we both have boyfriends. Sometimes I feel like she feels the same but I really don't want to ruin our friendship by asking. I don't know what to do, and I feel so ashamed that I'm a girl in love with a girl. I don't know why it's so hard for me. :tears: And that's why I'm here…because I need advice and I need to sort my feelings out and figure things out, as much as I can.
     
  2. deejay

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    Hi there! Welcome to EC! I'm pretty sure you'll get a lot of good advise here. I would suggest you post a thread about needing advise in the Support Group area, so we can all start helping you figuring it out what you wanted to figure. In the meantime, CHEERS!!! =)
     
  3. TJ

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    Very nice to meet you. :slight_smile: Welcome to the family.
    Hope we can help you sort out your feelings, and make some new friends along the way.
     
  4. Dino14

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    Nice to meet you! Welcome :slight_smile:

    I've found great solace in being here, and I hope that you will to!

    Peace and love! :slight_smile: x
     
  5. SemiCharmedLife

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    Greetings from another native Californian studying in the South!
     
  6. Ravi-VIXX777

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    Hello there. Your family seems so nice! You will find great advice about crushing on best friends here!! (*hug*)
     
  7. wolfxinxchains

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    that happened to me once. it was short. isuggest not trying it but i was lucky cuz were still friends. and welcome hope you love it here!
     
  8. boyatstake

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    Hello Taylor,

    Nice to meet you and welcome on board! I feel really sad for you when you are put in this situation, however, i know it may be hard for you and just only you know that how much it may be annoying, uncomfortable and struggling.

    I suggest that you should wait, you have been friends with her for so many years, so to decide to come to the final conclusion, 1 or 2 more years of waiting wont be the problem. here I want to say is may be you guys both have boyfriends just because you feel like needing have ones. Nevertheless, you can still fall for each other. Just give you and your friends some time, think more about this, about how you really feel, do you want to live with this girl for the rest of your life, do you want to have children with her or even do you want to publicly get married to her. Time spent on thinking about this clearly may show you the answer you need.

    Just my 2 cents, hope it somewhat helps you :slight_smile: good luck Taylor
     
  9. sldanlm

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    Hi Taylor, I'm Susan. This is kinda weird, because we're like polor opposites. I'm a deep south native, could've gone to the University of Alabama on an academic scholarship but chose to go to a university in the northeast instead. I support gay rights behind the scenes, because I've been told by my employer if an employee comes out they will be fired. My parents are very INtolerant of gays and lesbians, so much so that my mother once disowned me for coming out. And instead of being mostly straight, I'm mostly a lesbian. We do have one thing in common though, because I'm also in love with my best friend. The difference is he happens to be a guy. When we met we were both in relationships with other people, but in our case the relationships ended, and we started hanging out together, just 2 friends. He's known for years that I had been in a lesbian relationship, and never hit on me, just treated me like a kid sister. I started developing feelings for him but was afraid to tell him, afraid he didn't feel the same way and losing what we had. One day though I just took a leap of faith and let him know how I felt. He was shocked and confused, but accepting.

    Accepting my bisexuality is sometimes hard for me too, but for a different reason. All my adult life I've accepted that I was a lesbian, and to find out that I'm really bisexual is confusing. Growing up my fooling around with boys experience was like what you said about girls, kissing, touching, nothing major.

    I can't give you any advice on what you should do about asking, because it is risky. All I can tell you is that you shouldn't feel ashamed about how you feel.

    Welcome to E.C. (*hug*)
     
  10. lovely lesbian

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  11. Historyinhearts

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    Nice to meet you Taylor! The whole best friend thing I can completely relate to having gone through something similar...well, it still is going on but that's another story lol. Feel free to message me if you want to talk about it :slight_smile: