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my wife is livid

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by 1953, Mar 21, 2014.

  1. 1953

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    good day to you all and thank you for reading this. im 60 years old and iv known i was different all my life realy, i have married twice and got 3 grown up boys in their 30s and one stepson nearly 40 now. Anyway i have been playing around with men for years and lieing about it, and even denying it to myself, and sort of anexing it, as another part of my life that knowbody needed to know about. Well somone has found out about it, and it was my wife, a week ago, she confronted me with it one morning, and i just had to addmit that im bisexual and have been for many years, god alone knows how she is feeling, im so ashamed of myself for hurting her so much, i dont know what to do to ease her pain, if there is anyone out there who is able to give me any advice i would be greatfull...
     
    #1 1953, Mar 21, 2014
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2014
  2. lovely lesbian

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  3. 1953

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    hello, have I posted in the right place?
     
  4. Kellyve

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    Hello :slight_smile: Yes, although this is the welcome lounge so you may get more hellos than advice. It might help to post this in the later in life section of the forum. In any case, I can't offer you much help, but I wish you luck and hope that someone else has better advice for you.
     
  5. BookDragon

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    Right place, yes, just keep in mind not everyone is going to know how to respond to that.

    On the one hand, we completely understand your feelings. Denial is hard, really hard, and I think most people here can relate to that.

    On the other hand, you feel guilty because of what you did to your wife, and while it's easy to understand the reasons it's difficult to think of things that will make you feel better, because as you know, the only way you are going to feel better is if SHE forgives you for it, and even then it might not work.

    Have you spoken to her about your motivations behind the whole thing? I mean if I had to guess I would be pretty sure that these two things will be floating around her head:

    1. He doesn't love me
    2. He's COMPLETELY GAY

    That seems to be were most peoples heads go when this sort of thing comes up. If you can reassure her about those things, perhaps you can start to make her feel better.
     
  6. deejay

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    Hello there! First of all, welcome to EC. Second, EC is the right place and this maybe the Welcome Lounge, but those who come across your issue will surely reply like ElliaOtaku.

    I don't have any marriage experience, but understand that this situation maybe confusing to the part of your wife as well as with what you are going through... Talking things over will not hurt at all, and I totally agree with ElliaOtaku.