Hello everyone. I am questioning my sexuality. I'm pretty sure I am a lesbian, but I often consider staying in the closet forever, and just living with it because it's safer than coming out and I'm scared of ending up alone. My parents moved to the US from India about 30 years ago, and I have a very large group of friends of Indian descent. (They're not usually very accepting unfortunately) I'm in my early 20s, but have never had a boyfriend or girlfriend before. I also have a lot of gay friends from my college. I feel like they would not stay friends with me because I have not told them and I've known them for so long, and sometimes I just really want to ask them questions but am too scared that they'll find out. Any advice?
I understand where you're coming from. I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian too, but I'm not ready to talk to anyone about it, yet, and I haven't ever dated either. I'd say talk to your friends, or even just one. I'm sure a few of them have had a little bit of trouble coming to terms with figuring out their sexuality. If they get upset that you haven't told them sooner, make sure they understand that you weren't sure, and still aren't. If you aren't ready to talk to anyone in person, there are a lot of really understanding people on here that would probably be willing to answer your questions. Welcome aboard, love. =) And good luck, if you do, indeed, decide to speak with your friends.
Thanks so much for the advice Nessarose! BTW I love that username. Wicked is my favorite musical, and I even read the book its sequels by Gregory Maguire. I don't know if I'm ready to tell anyone just yet. Sometimes I feel like it would be easier to come out after I'm in a relationship, but I'm sure that's a pretty difficult thing to do as well. My biggest question is how did you first realize you were gay? For me, it feels like the realization came very slowly. It took me a long time to admit to myself that I was attracted women more than I was to men.
High five, bro! You can just call me Nessa, too. I haven't actually seen it yet, but it's coming to my city in August. I'm super excited for it. I've gotten half way through the book though =) I love it. And the music in Wicked is amazingggg. I'll stop freaking out now Like I said, I'm not entirely sure, but I'm fairly certain. Like you, it was a slow process. My school is one of the most accepting in the district, and, being a theatre kid, there are a lot of gays and over all just plain comfortable people in our group. Most people think I'm straight, just because I don't really get crushes, or date, or anything like that. A couple of my friends want me to be lesbian, just so "no guy can hurt" me lol. I love them. Anyways, I rarely feel attracted to anyone. When I do, it's toward women. Looking back on my life, it makes a lot of sense. I remember (yes, I know it's weird) even looking at women more when I was little than I did men. Don't get me wrong, men can be very attractive, but not in the same way. Let me know if you ever need a thing!
Haha, wow. I'm exactly the same, and was exactly the same in high school too. Like all of that you just said, like words out of my mouth. I work in theatre now, and most of the people in my theatre community are pretty open to everything. My other friends however are not so open, but I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there. I am also not usually attracted to anyone, but when I am it's usually women. I've only had one guy crush ever, and in retrospect, I should have realized this a lot sooner, because it makes so much sense now. You're going to LOVE Wicked, especially as a theatre kid. I don't know if the touring show has a dragon, but defying gravity is going to blow your mind either way. My new username is one from Once On This Island, my favorite play. I highly recommend reading the script and listening to the soundtrack. Really feel like I'm not in this boat by myself anymore. Thanks for sharing.
For a long time I thought the same. But then I recognized that my family and friend trust me and tell me things they I won't tell others about. So I told my best friend and it made it so much easier. Now she knows what I am, how I am and why I am and I can be myself. I hate it to lie about my sexuality cause most of my friends don't know it and I don't think I will ever tell them. Maybe you can come out to the people you trust and you want that they know you, your whole you cause that's an awesome feeling
Hi there and WELCOME to EC!!! Coming out is not an easy task to those of us who almost wanted to stay in the closet. In fact, to date I haven't come out yet to my family. And it took me almost 26years to finally admit and confirmed it to a few trusted friends. In fact, I'm still not sure if I'm really Bi Sexual or Lesbian. But being out makes you feel a little bit free. Though we all know that not all people (even our friends, family or relatives) are quite open minded, and for sure we will encounter such disapproval somehow. It's just a matter of good timing, I believe. And it will involve a lot of courage from your side to tell your story. Hang on there, you can do it! =)
