Hello everyone!

Hey hi hello. I don't really know where to begin, but I'm convinced having registered onto EC is a great decision. I chose the username grumpyb18, because I'm constantly (or at least most of the time) grumpy; and my name starts with the letter B (being really original here!). The 18 is here because I felt like adding a number. ^^ I'm a soon-to-be 19 girl, from a non-anglophone country (therefore I apologize in advance for the grammatical mistakes I may make) — I'd rather not tell which one for privacy reasons — and I've never been in a relationship, nor have I even kissed someone (I also feel super rejected when my "friends" talk about their lovemaking stuff because I'm always the only one not able to tell a story). I've always felt somewhat different though. And I have recently come to the conclusion that I am bisexual (still not sure though, but that's partly why I registered onto this forum).
I've been confused about some things lately, related to a girl I know (I think I'll end up creating a thread for that); and also because someone I trust and have confided in has indirectly helped me (he doesn't know about my ~identity though). But I also feel I'm not free in general, because I'm afraid of what people might think if I told them I was bisexual. Especially my family. People are always asking, "How's your love life? How's your boyfriend called?" so obviously I reply "He doesn't exist", and then they carry on with "Or a girlfriend maybe?" What follows depends on who asked the question. Once I got "You know, I'm very open-minded about that, you can tell me everything..." and I'm pretty sure that was sarcastic. Another time, I was told "Don't tell your father if you have a girlfriend, or he's gonna have a heart attack!" Well. And then they're all like "You should talk more often with me" and get surprised or offended if I don't. Anyway.
Only a few people know I'm bisexual, there's probably two of them, and they're Internet friends. I haven't been able to actually face anyone and talk about that (well, except for that super nice professor from uni, which is the one who helped me make things clearer — we were talking in his office, and at some point he said "and that's where you tell me you don't have a boyfriend because you like girls", and as we were in a context of complete honesty/letting go etc. I said I didn't know; so he did help a lot even with something that seems like nothing). Even to the person I consider my best friend. I guess I'm just afraid of how she might react.
There are other things I'm willing to talk about (and I guess, help people with) here. I don't actually know if I have health problems, I mean nothing's been diagnosed but I still believe there's something not completely right. My brother has struggled with depression and I guess it's had an effect on me (probably because of my mother only taking care of him, which I get, but you know, the mind can do things beyond understanding). I have a lot of ups and downs; several times I even got to the point where I was literally about to take an excessive amount of medication... etc. I'd rather not talk about that anyway — for now I feel okay.
I have no idea whether this introduction is complete but let's say it is. Also, I may be new here but if anyone needs anything; a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to/confide in, a friend, you can send me a private message and I'd be glad to be of help.