Hi I found this forum when I was searching for somewhere to talk about how I felt at the moment with other people going through similar experiences. Had a look around and I'm sure it's going to help. I've got a few friends I've come out to but none of them are gay so although they've been supportive it just doesn't always feel like they get it. I always felt a bit different growing up and never really understood the other girls fascination of trying to look good for the boys. I was much more interested in climbing trees and playing football with them. Looking back I had what I see now was some obvious signs that I wasn't straight but where I grew up I hadn't even heard of people being gay until I was about eleven. It annoys me that I had a couple of relationships with guys before I worked out why it just never felt right. I often feel like I've missed out on stuff I could have been doing in my teens and early 20s if I'd been out but suppose it's just got to be about focusing on the future now. I first started to come out to myself a couple of years ago and told a handful of people about a year after, once I'd met my first girlfriend. She's what's on my mind at the moment. We split up last night because she said she felt being in a relationship with another woman felt too difficult (her family are religious). There was an incident with my neighbour shouting some pretty nasty homophobic abuse at us this week and I think that was the final straw. The relationship hadn't been easy as she was extremely reluctant to come out to anyone. This was difficult for me but I respected her. She's been a big part of my life for so long now and I'd actually thought that we were getting someplace recently so I'm just kind of shocked and numb today. I can't see things working out this time. We've got over patches like this before but I really want to live openly and feel that I've given this as much time as I can. Now I want to use this as the catalyst for coming out completely. It's not so much that I'm worried about people's reactions to my sexuality, more that I'm concerned they'll think I've lied to them or hidden this because I've waited so long.
First of all hi and welcome to EC Here's just the right place to talk The time of coming out is your business. That means only you have to decide whether you want to come out or not. You don't lie to them. You're just not ready to tell them. I think that's not wrong. Take yourself time and look for the right moment E.g. I said it just spontaneus to my mom while we were watching tv. I thought that was the right moment And yeas it was Good luck!
Welcome! I like your username. It sounds like the name of some band, lol. I'm really sorry about your girlfriend, and I can understand the concerns from both of you. But, you are right that it is unhealthy to stay in a relationship which is "semi-closeted". I'm in kind of the same situation except that I'm in the closet to everyone in real life and have never been in a relationship, even though I want one. I guess my biggest stumbling block like you is that I would like to be selectively out to some of my friends and not most of my family, who are very religious and conservative. Now, I realize that I need to first come out to most people, both family and friends, and just stick with those who accept me, which also allow myself to be less fearful when I'm interested in a guy.
Hi there! Welcome to EC!!! Hope you are doing fine. Anyway, coming out is never an easy task and you should do it in your own terms, not because you are feeling pressured, but because you wanted to be more comfortable for who you are. For now, I can just hope the best for you.
