Hi, Everyone, I am new here, I come from China, which is now with booming economy competing with US, but the culture towards gay and sexual related topics is still very conservative and contra dictional. I found myself being gay I think 3 years old, I was attracted by strong man, he used be my neighbor. Once he came to my house to play video games with my daddy, and while my daddy was out to buy cigaret, something happened. That was my first time gay sex experience in my 3 years old. Then I went to primary boarding school, and had some sex experience with my classmates too during 6 years. I was treated badly and as freak at that time, as I found I was not interested in any sport and social activities, those boys keep away from me. The only thing I could draw their intention was trying my best to study well. So I earned some respect from teachers and students even they found me act differently. As China's education, in school, whatever teachers and parents, they care more scores than your behaviors physically and mentally. Then I figured out a way that if I could be good at scores of my study, I could nearly do whatever I want to control or revenge those guys treated me badly. During my senior middle school, I act more manly, but some of my friends who are girls knew I am gay, during that time, score of my study and somehow handsome cute face gave me a lot of confidence, I felt less shame to tell them I am gay. In China, the exam of entering university was crucial to all Chinese family and people, the same as my parents, then I calculate the date of 2 weeks before my exam, I told my parents I am a gay. Their behavior was calm, because they didn't want to affect my exam after 2 weeks. And as I learnt from psychology, human's mood would waves from angry, anxiety to calm into 1 or 2 weeks. I felt guilty I manipulated their emotion, and they kept quite and calm in front of me seemed like this thing was never happened. But after years, i heard they was crying before they sleep every day during that time. After my examination, they actually calmed down and became peacefully, but they avoided to talk about this thing, after several years, they talked once very seriously about my not getting HIV with Gay sex, which surprised me a lot. But I am so grateful to their generosity and understanding. They also met my ex boyfriend when we decided to live together. So far I am 28 years old, a lot of things happened to me as drama even like a novel. Coming out of from closet is just a small tiny story. My case was unique and different from other people all over the world, and I didn't see it as a standard method to tell parents that u r gay, etc. But I see myself after 10 years came out of closet, my advantage is with some little smart ideas that comes from my knowledge. I didn't realize I was brave and honesty, these words are too good to describe me, I felt I was mean and selfish to use knowledge to manipulate my parents. After my watching queer as folk, I tried to shift my attitude towards my parents as more honesty and sharing my life, I became to tell them more about me and my life, this is in order to let them know more about me, I didn't want them to blame themselves as they thought the reason I became gay was their lack of attention of my psychological care. I told them I was naturally born this way. They are more and more convinced. I think the love from your parents to you is universal beyond culture difference in all over the world. The moment they know you are gay, they firstly will think you are mentally sick, and they started to hate you being their children, then they started to flashback what kind of thing caused you become gay from their parenting education, but most important at last is they don't believe you and them will be fine in the rest of life. I thought you should be good at speech or convincing, this is a strong powerful weapon to conflict your parents' ideas and cultural background. But if you don't have the power to convince them, it would be hard whatever u are out of closet or not, then you have to hope your parents could be open minded. So from my experience, if your parents are open minded, try to tell them truth. If they are not, and also the culture of your country is conservative about this issue, you better be convincing using logic and knowledge. this is my story, of course this conclusion is limited by some parameters. I just want to share it. And I wanted to make friends to those who come out of the closet like me in this world, and enjoy of being real and telling truth. Now I am single, I also hope I could meet a man who also came out of closet like me. :lol:
