Hi everyone, this is my story. Ive been married for nearly 17 years to my husband and we have 4 children. I started to home school my kids a year ago and we joined a forest school group once a week where we met lots of new friends....The leader of the group -a woman and a lesbian- became a good friend and i noticed a mutual attraction start to become apparent! Her kids grew close bonds with mine and so it was difficult to avoid meeting up on other days.Our friendship turned to texting and sexting and the odd occasion when nobody was looking we would hold hands or touch....She was (is) married to a woman and told me it was all over in their marriage! I told my husband that i thought i am a lesbian ,i tried saying bisexual but he seemed more upset that i could want another man and he seemed to grasp the lesbian thing better(well ish) . Then this woman told me she wanted to make her marriage work and couldnt see me anymore! I had come out of my closet and been dumped on the side of the road.....my kids couldnt go to see their friends anymore and forest school was a big no no...Everything has turned into a huge mess now and im not sure which way to turn or what to do!! My husband has gone through many ups and downs with his emotions and is angry then sad then helpful then angry ect.... He has worked away from home during the week for many years and ive been very lonely raising the kids alone for so so long.I wondered if maybe i was just lonely and craved the attention that i was receiving from this woman?!?!could this have happened with a man?? she told me her dreams and hopes for our future and then took it all back....i have a chance that at this point i could possibly put it all down to a mid life crisis and win my husband back but then i am so so worried that im holding onto him because im so scared and dont know how to live without his support,financially and emotionally and that maybe in the future this could all happen again!? We have to move house as the house we are renting is too expensive and so now im giving away our kids pets and trying to find a flat?apartment/small house for me and the kids...I cant see for the crap thats blurring my vision..The thoughts and thinks chase each other around and around my head and never seem to get tired!!!! I cant understand what im doing or what i should do...Does any of this make sense to anyone out there????? can anyone please give me some advice before i completely break down please.xx
You seem unsure of your sexuality, so try asking yourself 'do you feel sexually and romantically attracted to women?' and 'do you feel sexually and romantically attracted to men?'. The chances are that it will take a while to discover, and the answer may be that you like both or have a certain preferences. You should probably talk to your husband and ask if he can be patient with your issue and ask whether you can still live together until you have decided what to do. I am sure he will be understanding, particularly when kids are involved. Try and give it time to think things through, or maybe you could talk to someone you trust about the problem, maybe a doctor. My advice is somewhat limited but there is a forum called 'LGBT Later in Life' perhaps you should copy and paste what you said over there as there are many married people there as well.
Hey:smilewave Welcome to EC. If help and advice is available I am betting it is here. There are so many nice people here who want to help.
