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First time on here

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Lilacy, May 7, 2014.

  1. Lilacy

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    Hey, so I'm new here and hoping to get some help working out who I am and what my desires and sexuality means. I'm not tooo worried about labels but I have some kinda complicated feelings around my sexuality as my family home strictly raised me to believe that any kind of gay experiences are outside of nature, but also that any kind of sexuality outside of marriage is wrong and shameful.
    Soo..I guess I have put pretty much all my sexual desires in the 'shame box' gay or straight, and although I enjoy them I haven't really reconciled them with my true self yet. I do love my family even though they have their issues like any other family, and I am very sensitive so it would destroy me if my relationship with them got ruined. They would still 'love me anyway' if I greatly shamed them or chose a 'wrong lifestyle' but the knowledge that they would experience feelings of shame and awkwardness about me would just kill me.

    I self harmed in my teenage years and actually managed to stop by myself without any help, due to multiple reasons, one being that I was horrified that I was ruining my skin and wanted to wear singlets without hiding myself all the time, and another reason being that I imagined my little brother finding out or even taking up the same path and I knew it had to stop. The reason I started was actually because I felt like I couldn't express myself, couldn't express my pain and anger so I took it out on my body because 'I could handle it.' Just a bit of background, not actually related to my sexuality but still relevant to me as a person.

    I've posted in the sexual orientation section a bit about why I'm on here and curious. Hope to work myself out! (!) thanks for reading
     
  2. Quem

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    Hello and welcome to EC (*hug*)

    I see some have already answered questions in your other topic. :icon_bigg
     
  3. FireSmoke

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  4. Lilacy

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    Thanks people :slight_smile:
     
  5. happydavid

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    Hi I have the same concerns with people in church
     
  6. CharlieHK

    CharlieHK Guest

    :welcome: to EC!
     
  7. Miiaaaaa

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    Welcome to EC! :slight_smile:
     
  8. mansheart

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  9. TheFSM

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    Welcome!
     
  10. lovely lesbian

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  11. supernova

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    Hello! and welcome to EC!