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Hi could do with some help :)

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Jennachka, May 9, 2014.

  1. Jennachka

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    Hi I'm new here and found this as i knew i needed help.

    I have a beautiful daughter and she has always shown signs that she may be gay, she has a very masculine dress sense always played with boys toys etc and now she is talking about it to me relatively openly. I'm so proud of her for being brave and talking to me but i am struggling a bit with it and don't want her to see.

    I have always been very open and totally ok with people being gay straight bi or whatever but its a little different when its your own kid.

    I couldn't care less who she chooses to have a relationship with but i am worried about her happiness. I am scared she may get bullied and scared that she will find it more difficult to meet someone special then it normally is.

    I also have a russian fiancée and don't know how he is going to handle this. he loves her and has been really sportive of her but coming from his background he doesn't understand and doesn't like people being openly gay.

    if any one has advice please reply.

    thanks
     
  2. Pret Allez

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    Thanks for coming to us!

    Don't be too worried. You're right that the world is harder for us and we do get bullied, but just let her know that you're an ally, and she cant tell you when things are getting tough at school or anything like that.

    As for your fiancée, I would have a talk with your daughter first and ask her if she's comfortable with coming out to dad. If she his, I think it's a good idea to present a unified front. If she's gay or bi, and you support her 100%, it's kind of two against one.
     
  3. JStevens96

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    You'll find great advice here! We are all in search of helping ourselves.
     
  4. lovely lesbian

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  5. Quem

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    Hello and welcome! :icon_bigg

    I am scared she may get bullied and scared that she will find it more difficult to meet someone special then it normally is.

    Your fear is understandable. But let's look to the other side. If she is gay and she won't tell anyone, one would think it's better.. Not necessarily. Not being able to be who you really are is one of the worst situations you can be in. Having to hide yourself, pretending you are "normal", it's difficult and it's something you don't want anyone to be in.

    I don't know her age, but it's awesome that she is so open about it, and you are awesome too for letting her be who she is! (*hug*) Of course it is difficult at times, but that's nothing to be ashamed of. She is very lucky to have an understanding mother! :icon_bigg
     
  6. regain my hope

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    hi i think it would be a huge help to your daughter that you show your support especially if she comes out and gets bullied as long as she feels as if she can be herself at home and around her family i believe it will be a huge help to her

    i think that its fantastic that you are so supportive of her good on you :eusa_clap
     
  7. happydavid

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    Hello
    I'm so impressed with you. I know from first hand experience whathomophobia is like and how hard it is to find supportive people.
    I respect you for trying to find support for the one you love. If you need to talk I'm here
     
  8. Jennachka

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    thanks so much all.

    I really am proud of her I just hate to see the pain she is in, of not yet being able to figure it out and still nervous about telling people so she is still trying to be herself and hide it at the same time. mix that up with all the other stuff young teenagers go through and she must be going through a really tough time.

    Its really nice of you all to respond with your thoughts.

    thanks Pret Allez I will defiantly talk to her before talking to him. I know she has told her friends she is Bi and they all seem fine with it but she has only talked to me in the family ( although both of my parents and sister have suspected this as well as me for some time) so don't want to out her to the family before she is ready.

    All of your support and kind words have really helped me feel calmer already. I still feel almost sad but please don't take it the wrong way I'm not sure what I am sad about mostly how sad she is but I wont lie there is a bit of me that is a little sad that my little girl is more comfortable looking like a boy. I know its totally superficial of me its just a bit hard at first.
     
  9. girlpower

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    Hey! i am happy to learn that you are already an open minded person and understand homosexuality... i wish my parents were like you. being a lesbian myself, i would like request on your daughters behalf to not to panic, and accept as graciously and warmly as possible. your daughter would be so proud of you... and she may also find a friend in you. She wud never have to worry about being bullied at school if her parents are with her. tk care. God bless you!
     
  10. Jennachka

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    Thanks so much girl power. Really all of u, I didn't realise how alone I felt in this till I posted here and got so many warm responded. Ok so next time she wants to talk about this or it comes up I may introduce her to this site. Is there a min age on here to just have a chat? Xxx thanks all. Really want her to have this support too if she needs it. Xxxxxx
     
  11. phoenix89

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    Hi Welcome to EC. The age to join this site is 13, but one can join younger with parent permission. You have any questions about site safety or and questions in general you are more than welcomed to ask here, on its own thread, as well as on the Ask the Staff forum. The post there are private and can only be seen by the person who asked and the staff members. The staff here do a lot of hard work to keep the site safe.

    Here is the link to the Ask the Staff Forum. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/ask-staff/

    You sound like a wonderful Mom and your daughter is lucky to have you.
     
  12. Miiaaaaa

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    As long as you're there supporting her, you're doing your job well! Any bullying will suck, but having someone there makes it a lot better! Your daughter seems lucky to have a mum like you. :slight_smile:

    Also, welcome. :slight_smile: