Hey!!!:) This Is My Coming Out Story

When I was 14, I came out to one of my good friends. I told her how frustrated I was with my confused feelings with liking girls. Being gay herself she understood, listened and gave me advice about it. After confiding in her for a few months I finally got the courage to tell one of my best friends and it was shock to discover that she was feeling the same way that I was feeling. That brought us closer together because we understood what each other was going through and we were able to help each other. Even though I felt confident with who I was around her, I also was scared what other people would think, how they would react and the most important thing at the time….losing one of my other best friends. That other “best friend” was homophobic and hated on anyone who was. I told her so many times how much it was wrong to hate on people but she always told me I knew where the door is if I don’t like her opinion. Back then I was convinced she had good side of her so to keep her friendship I decided I was going to have a boyfriend and try to forget about my feelings towards girls. What I didn’t know is how wrong it would feel. I loved him as friend but anything more….no. Maybe it just wasn’t the right person. After I got rid of the girl who used to bring negative, hateful thoughts and comments to me, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. While I was friends with her I lost a lot of my friends because they didn’t like her. It wasn’t long until I got a message from the friend who I first told first about my sexuality. We started talking again and I was the happiest I had felt for ages. Eventually I realised that I was falling for her. She became my girlfriend. All I wanted to to is be with her, hug her, kiss her, talk to her for hours. But yet, when I did I was scared. We never had time on our own and I pushed her away. When I first left school I kept in contact with a really close guy friend. For some reason I had convinced myself that I had liked him for years. I spent so much time, effort and money, addicting myself to the chase. Why? I was distracting myself from what I was really feeling. Most of the people I know have picked up on it and I shrugged it off and told myself that it was just a phase. “A phase” people say it all the time. I thought that for a while. I can find a guy attractive but I know for a fact that I don’t want to be in a relationship with a guy. After spending time figuring out who I am and not distracting myself from who I am I can finally accept myself and love myself. I love myself and my flaws. They call it “Coming out of the closet” I guess I stumbled out there and it took me awhile to get up and look in the mirror and say “I’m gay."