Hi there, I have just joined the forum and wanted to say hello. Having recently turned 35, I have decided that I need to address my confusion and try and work out what the deal is. I'm a male (in the physical form) but feel more female (in gender) than male. Throughout my younger years, people would often refer to me as 'She' and before I started growing stubble, it wasn't rare for people to think I was female. I naturally assumed I was gay (as I was attracted to men), so once I turned 18 I started checking out gay bars and having my first experiences with men. It never felt totally 'right' (being with a man did, but the gay scene didn't). I have never had a relationship as I just don't 'feel' gay or relate to gay men. I am attracted to straight men, but as a female being attracted to a straight man rather than as a gay man being attracted to a straight man. This has obviously meant not having a partner because straight men are attracted to the female form, not the male one. I guess I'm just wanting to get this out of my head as I have never told anyone about how I feel and it feels good to get it out. I actually like my body and don't necessarily feel I'm in the wrong body, but then I am attracted to the male form, so I guess I might like my body because I like the male form (I guess that would mean I fancy myself!) But I don't know how I can have a relationship with a straight man while I have the body of a man, even though I feel I am a woman in the non-physical sense. I just don't feel gay and don't know if a relationship could be sustained with a gay man beyond the physical element, as he would be wanting a male in both body and mind, whereas I would only fill the remit for the male body but not the mind part. I hope I've made sense, and thank you for reading. Runningboy35
