Hey everbody! My name's Jonas, I'm 23 and I'm from Brazil. I've created this profile to have contact with people that I think might have a lot in common with me, to share experiences and maybe to have some advices. I love my life, my friends and family, though I've been lately experiencing some weird feeling of loneliness and awkwardness. On one hand it seems everytime I relate to my friends (and sometimes with other family members) I have this feeling I'm "cheating" on them by not telling them who I really am, by having to keep ducking out girls and so on, but on the other hand I don't feel like telling everybody as I know they'll be disappointed, away and all that stuff. I've been isolating myself for the last years so I don't have to disappoint anyone. I've always been a guy of friends but can't deny I've never felt so lonely for the past years. I want to share my love and happy moments with someone I can trust, but it seems this is like an "unpassable door". I'm a closeted gay guy, nobody knows about me (not from me) and I think a few suspect.
Welcome I am also new here as well.I also sometimes feel lonely because not being out since you cant interact with your friends being yourself or not even knowing if they would accept you as gay.By the way why do you think it would dissapoint them?If they truly love you it should be ok.
Hi Jonas, I feel exactly the same way you do. It is nice to know that I am not alone in having those feelings. It is very hard pretending and feeling that you are cheating yourself and not being honest with other people. I am not out at all and I am not really comfortable with other people knowing right now. If you ever want to talk about it send me a message.
This is a good place to get some advice and talk to people who are going trough similar things in their own lives... Do you think people will treat you any different if they know you're gay? Or do you think they might just carry on as they do now... Keeping in mind that they already suspect that you are gay?
Welcome to ES. Great to see you there. Someday you feel that you have to tell your family and friends about your sexuality and you see they will acept you and will be supportive.
Hey Im relatively new on EC too and can relate exactly with how you feel. I am out to a very small numbdr of people and believe me the fear of 'disappointing' my family disappeared as soon as I told the. I know it often feels impossible. Right now I don't believe I'll ever be able to be out to everyone but I kep praying that I'll make and that I'll eventually come to termms with it. Its all part of journey. If you ever want to confide/chat to someone just send my a message
Hello Jonas! I also have felt the same way, fear of disappointing others and not wanting to seem attracted to girls made me isolate myself and lose contact with many of my friends. My advice is to first start slowly and try talking to close friends who are trustworthy. You don't have to come out to everyone at once. It's good you joined this forum. I learned a lot just from reading other people's stories. Last year, I didn't think I could come out to anyone, but now I've come out to four friends, and it really has made me feel more confident.
