Hey My name is BoiCub, I am a mother of a 12 year old boy that I seriously think is coming into his skin. I think I may be reading into things a bit, but until I get him here for a visit during christmas, I won't know any better than what I do now... He is overly exhuberant about the fact that he made a male friend so quickly the other day. He talked and raved over the fact they had so much fun, and what things they did, and that the other boy made comment about his hair, how he dressed, his legs, and liking his: "stache"... He's half puerto rican and half caucasian and is an extremely attractive boy. He is a little on the heavy side, but he is allready hitting size 10 shoe, and about 5'6". And again he is 12 going on 13 in Nov. I have been slowly dealing with some personal hygine issues with him. Got him over his aggrivation to the fact that he is growing fuzzy-ies in places that he wasn't expecting, and dealing with furry legs and such. I got him to change up his deodorant to something that works better for his chemistry, and Also made him his own cologne oil for him to have his own scent. In which he LOVES smelling and feeling so much better now. I seriously thin he will soon begin to start exploring himself and his sex drive will kick in. I don't know how to help him from so far away, or what to do except be a sounding board over the phone. Do I start sending him condoms and literature now? Or should that all wait till we are face to face?? Any other moms or dads out there dealing with kids coming onto thier ages?? THanks in advance Boi Cub... :help: (&&&)
I dont know anything about parenting but i wouldnt advise handing out condoms yet if ever. I was never given "The talk" by my parents and here in Washington the only thing school told us that we were going to get an erection and are armpits are going smell. At Freshmen year in high school they told us about STD's. If you dont tell him hes either going to find out through other kids. *BAD, i was told that theres two holes in my thingy and just figured last week that its just one that looks pinched...* I dont think a 13 year old is going to need condoms but thats just my thinking. When i was twelve there was 3 pregnant girls in my school and many more were active. I would find a book specily made for men. Few Amazon searches should give you something good. Try to find something geared towards his understanding, Telling him anything like this over the phone or in medical mumbo jumbo is just going to embarrass him. http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Going-Down-There-Questions/dp/0802775403/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_b This book was given to an old neighbor of mine. His parents bought it and put sticky notes in what they felt were the most important and intersting to him and left it on his bed. He read those pages and then ventured off into what he wanted to know, finished the book that night.
Oh dear, im glad to hear you have such a connection with your son. But sending him condoms might give him the signal "GO! HAVE SEX! NOW!!!!" I would wait to see him in person and just have the birds and the bees talk Welcome to EC by the way.
I can't really help you too much on this, but I'd say wait for betty to reply, as she's more experienced with motherhood and such issues. Welcome to ec.
Welcome to EC! Well first off you seem like a good mother for being concerned and wanting to help so thank you. I think that you should leave any sexual orientation talk alone and let him come to you when he is ready if he is in fact gay/bi because bringing it up before he is ready to talk about it may cause him to be defensive and angry also at 12 he may or may not understand his feelings (yes I know a lot of 12 yr olds do) but he may not be ready to accept it for himself and may be confused and need time to think. On the other hand he may be straight but please consider letting him come to you. Now about the sex and condoms and such I think you should just start out talking to him about sex and maybe making it gender neutral or something like when you decide to have sex with someone no matter who they are always protect yourself...... anyway so like I said start out with a talk (no matter how embarrassing for the both of you) and then ask if he would like some condoms, I don't believe he is going to be having sex for a while but it NEVER hurts to offer condoms. I hope this helps. Sam
Hi and welcome to EC from Jim in Toronto. I have two girls, but they are only 5 and 7. No discussions yet about - or my own orientation - yet. So no advice to offer really. If you suspect that he's gay, then I'd continue to be supportive and gender neutral (as suggested above) and keep letting him know that you're there for him - no matter what.
Konnichiwa and Welcome to empty closets!! If my mom gave me a condom......:eek: Anyways, hope to see you around:smilewave:smilewave:smilewave
