Hello Everyone

Main fear you have right now is losing the support of family and friends, rejection.

I was actually forced to come out as someone outed me to my parents, when I told them I was gay they accepted me, I was expecting totally the opposite as I heard about all the negative stories about how people's homophobic parents disown their child and kicked them out of the house. That was my belief about coming out, but when I came out to my parents they accept me and that was a huge step in my life and I did feel like a lot of weight had been lifted from off my shoulders.

I think what you need to do is find out what your parents views about different aspects about the gay community, and see what they think, if you already know how your parents and friends react to gays in general then just need to be careful with what you say.

Try not to confess to a close friend about your sexuality because sometimes it could lead to other bad conflicts like blackmail and having a sort of a power over you since they have dirt on you.

Also try not to think of coming out as a way of hurting those around you and you benefiting. People will get hurt because sometimes they'll cry over things that they will eventually get over within time. It's not even considered selfish either you are trying to be who you are and that's not a selfish thing for anyone. Because in reality you are trying to do probably one of the most hardest things in life (Coming Out) once you come out it helps you in so many ways, because you are accepting of who you are as a person and you feel better being who you are. You don't have to hide who you are, and you don't need to live in fear all your life worrying if your parents will accept you or deny you.

I think a lot of people are shy until they found out ways of making friends and coming out of their shell. I had gone through this when I was in High School, I too was also considered a loner because I hung out with people in my class and didn't talk to anyone else.

Welcome to Empty Closets.

 

Welcome to EC!

 

Welcome! I'm sure you will find EC to be a wonderful, helpful place.

You might have just been describing me, as far as being shy, etc. I know I could not imagine coming out to anyone 4 years ago, couldn't even admit it to myself. I'd say give it some time, talk to people here, and do it when it is right for you. Just remember, you don't have to come out to everyone or anyone unless you want to.

 

Welcome to EC!! Lots of people here who've gone through what you're going through.

You're in the right place.:welcome:

 

welcome to ec! what you have described is probably what many of us have also gone through and are still going through!! (me!!) but least you can discuss these issues with ec now!

 

:smilewave

 

Welcome to EC! I hope this places will help you. Your feelings are not different than anybody else who struggles with coming out. Its hard because you do wonder if your family and friends will turn on you. My son wondered the same thing coming out in a fundamentalist Christian family! It just hasn't happened.

 

Welcome to EC!!

Is it selfless to suppress yourself and live a false life, in which people can tell that something's up and therefore worry about you much more than necessary??

You wouldn't be selfish for coming out. You'd put their worried minds at ease.

(*hug*)

 

Hi and welcome to EC from Jim in Toronto!

This is not you being selfish. This is you being honest - with yourself and with those around you. The way I look at it, you're hurting those around you by not being honest - only they don't know it.

I worried about what people would think too. And I worried that they'd be angry that I hadn't told them sooner. But people (generally) understand that coming out is a very difficult thing to do, and they'll appreciate the fact that you're confiding in them. They won't hold it against you that you didn't tell them sooner. I don't think I've ever read a 'coming out' story here on EC where the friend or family member said "I'm fine with you being gay, but I'm never speaking to you again because you didn't tell me sooner!"

At the same time, there is no need to rush. Take your time. Get comfortable with the concept. You'll get to a point where NOT telling them is more awkward than telling them. Then it will be time.

Otherwise, hang out here. This site helped me get comfortable with being gay, and reassured me that gay people are just like everyone else! I'm not REALLY all that different.

Good luck. And again - WELCOME!!!

 

:welcome: Welcome to EC!!!

 

Welcome to EC.

 

Hey, welcome to EC! This is a fantastic place to find support, so many people here have been in just your situation.

 

Hi,welcome to EC. You'll have plenty of fun because now we are your family,and family takes care of each other.

 

Welcome! :smilewave

 

I hear you Zebra. Good that you know who you are. That's an important step. If you accept yourself you'll find others will accept you for who you are. I know what it's like to feel alone in that crowd at school. I wonder how different things would have been...
Anyway, glad you're here!

 

Welcome

 

hey welcome to EC!