Newbie here. Married confused thinking might be a lesbian. Just looking for some support from a community that understands. Two years ago while hanging with a lesbian friend, I realized I had feelings for her. Very deep feelings. Something I had never even felt in my marriage. I have been married 11 yrs. We have two girls under eight. We have an alright relationship. We dont really enjoy the same things. To complicate things he is depressed. I feel if I tell him my feelings he will commit suicide. I dont want to be the cause of that. So I have been living for two years in silence except for a close friend and my lesbian friend. My lesbian friend and I have since falling in love and had a very intense emotional affair. She is also on a relationship. She ended us back on October before we could take it to a more physical level. I still love her but am trying to move on. We talk on occasion since we work together. She has said she still has feelings for me and the thought of me being with another women scares her. I am going to seek counseling. I have become depressed myself and feel I am missing out with my girls because I am not truly myself. Again just looking for people who understand. Thanks for being here.
Hi and welcome to EC. I'm so sorry it's such a hard time for you right now, that's a lot to cope with all at once. There are so many good people here, for support, understanding and advice, you won't feel alone for long. Welcome again (*hug*)
Hello. I hope you find the support and understanding you're looking for here on your journey of self-discovery. Welcome!
Hello DancingGirl and welcome to EC. I hope you have a look around and find yourself comfortable here
Thanks everyone. Just since joining last night I feel like someone may understand me. My long time best friend recommended I try something like this due to the fact she will not understand what I am going through. Since she is in a very happy straight marriage. Bless her. She is wonderful. So right now I am wondering if I am unhappy in my marriage because I really am gay. Or is my thinking I am gay making my marriage unhappy. I really feel it is the fact I am gay and that I have been hiding it so long. Well not hiding it. I guess really just discovering it. looking back at my life there are a few things that should have made me realize it but I guess maybe I didnt really think it made me any different. I am also feeling alienated by the few gay friends I did have. They have all quit calling and hanging out with me. I wonder if they have some issues with my limited outness and the fact that I am not just leaving my marriage for this life I am unsure about. Ugh! So much to talk about so little time.
