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Hello, I'm AJ and I am transgender

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by AllenL, Jun 23, 2014.

  1. AllenL

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    This is the first time if gone to a support group or even told anybody about myself. I was born as male but for about 2 years I've been obsessed with the idea that I'm not suppose to be a guy. I'm seen to most as smart and always in control and put togather, I'm not though and have gotten really good at faking it. This makes it harder for me to come out, because I can only fake the confedence. I also have anouther problem, I'm 6 feet tall and weigh around 180 pounds and am only 14 years old. I can't see myself as outwardly feminine. My parents make me keep my hair short even though I want to keep it longer. I thought at first that this was a face that would pass, but I can't deny it anymore. I'm going into a phsyciotrist in August, but I don't think it is soon enough because every time I an episode where I find myself willing to do anything just to make the pain stop a knife starts to look more appealing. Please help me, I am a freak...
     
    #1 AllenL, Jun 23, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2014
  2. Gallatin

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    Hi there AJ, and welcome to EC. Please don't call yourself a freak, because that's not true. I hope that you can find the help and support you're looking for here. :slight_smile:
     
  3. laurenc

    laurenc Guest

    welcome to EC Aj . also you are not a freak,you are you and you are a person who deserves to be treated how others would like to be treated.
     
  4. EvanderJ

    EvanderJ Guest

    Hi AJ,

    Please don't call yourself a freak. Because you are not. I'm transgender myself. I am a guy stuck in a girl's body. I haven't start my transition yet, but I did used to go see a therapist. I'm just waiting on a new job, so I can actually start seeing my therapist again and actually start my transition as well. Welcome and I am new as well=).
     
  5. LonestarConnie

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    Hello AJ,

    I'm Male-to-Female Transgender as well. My girl name is Connie. I hope you feel welcome here at EC
     
  6. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Hi AJ, welcome to Empty Closets! :slight_smile:

    As others have mentioned, you are not a freak. You have made the decision to join EC, which is a great decision, because being part of EC, will give you a chance to get to know others and share your experience and listen to theirs. Sharing experiences can really help in not only gaining confidence in yourself, but it can also help you to see pathways that weren't there before, pathways that will help you to become the person you feel is in you.

    Every time something doesn't feel right, or you feel things don't go the way you want them to, log on EC, and write it all out and chat with other community members. The act of writing out your thoughts (even if it is just a rant) can help.
     
  7. AllenL

    Regular Member

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    Thank you. Where I am though there are no longer anyone I can talk too, I had a couple of friends but so many of them have moved leaving me with no one to talk to, not that I had talked to anyone about myself. That and my family are all realists that will believe this is some sort of phase. That and I myself think too much, and it is like I am fighting myself, even after 2 years of me knowing what this is and knowing I was different, this is the first time I've posted anything about it.
     
  8. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Hi there! Sorry to hear that your friends moved away but I'm glad that you decided to reach out. It took a lot of courage to sign up and to post. Pad yourself on the shoulder for having done that.

    Sometimes it can take quite a while for things to settle, and for us to be okay with who we are. And that's okay. Seeing a counsellor in the coming months, will help with becoming comfortable with yourself, and gaining some more insights and perspectives.

    Know that EC is here to support you. :slight_smile:
     
  9. lovely lesbian

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  10. happydavid

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