Hello everyone! My name is Ciara, I am 18 years young and currently living in Barrie, Ontario. I was born and raised in Tampa, Florida, but relocated to Barrie about a year ago to further my training in my sport. I am a competitive figure skater and ice dancer. When I am not on the ice or working out I can usually be found either on a computer or out in nature. I've known that I am bi for quite a few years now, but I've only recently come out to a small number of very close friends. I'm also currently struggling to figure out if I am transgender (FtM) or if I'm just a more masculine girl. I've always liked hanging out with boys more, and have always felt better wearing masculine clothing. Unfortunately, I was not blessed with accepting parents, and my mother has always, and still continues to try to push me to be super feminine. Many of my friends always make comments like "You're so manly." or "You seem like such a guy sometimes." I'm currently feeling frustrated and confused because I feel like I should be a guy, but because of my sport I really am always pushed to be feminine. I do wear makeup on a daily basis, I wear pink, I have long hair, and generally wear feminine clothing but it is only because I am financially dependent on my parents. I've tried to come out to a few close friends with these thoughts and feelings but they all tell me I am the picturesque example of a young female. I'm just frustrated and confused with everything right now. On a happier note, I am so glad to have found what seems to be a very homey and loving community to shares my ups and my downs with. <3
Ice skating! Awesome! Welcome to EC. Know that being feminine doesn't mean you aren't a trans man, but it doesn't mean you are either. I was in the gender identity questioning phase for a while, and I didn't even know I was questioning my gender identity. I was just in full-blown denial mode. Having that said, it'll get better. Sooner or later, you'll know exactly where your gender lays, and if you need help with that, we're all here to help you.
So happy to meet you all! I've already posted a bit and received the most supportive and kind feedback! So glad that I choose this forum, I can already see what a great community it is!
