Hi everyone I find myself in my 40s with a history of convenient relationships a long way in the background, the sort that family and friends have expectations that I should be having. I have been single for 8 years and I love it, it gave me space to find myself and not be defined by others. What I have also come to realise is that I am attracted to women and more rarely men. My family are homophobic as are my friends, though they wouldn't say they were because they know a 'gay' person. I work in a female orientated job where it would be a nightmare to come out. I feel like I can't help who I am attracted to, its as ingrained as breathing, but around all these different aspects of my life its like I have to hold my breath and not follow what feels right. At times I feel wrong and insincere because I haven't told people, creepy like I am doing something wrong because its a secret, and when I make a new friend and feel attraction for them I feel guilty and confused and how do I know if they are just wanting to be friends or would consider more, and if they did, how would I manage that. So that's me and where I am at
Hi Samantha and welcome to Empty Closest! You have come to the right place to talk about things, to seek support and to figure out the next steps. You might be interested in checking out the LGBT Later in Life forum, which could provide you with a good starting point. Please feel free to read through other forums and threads as well. You are absolutely right that you can't change to whom you are attracted to. I'm sorry to hear that your family is homophobic, and that you are finding yourself in an environment that isn't conducive to coming out. It is okay to hold off with coming out to your family and others. I would suggest that you perhaps start with creating/building a support network around you, which could include support and social groups. By joining EC, you have started to build a support network for yourself. Welcome aboard.
Hello and welcome to EC! It's a pleasure to meet you. Please ask questions and contribute since your input is highly valued here .
