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Massive Step, Still Cautious

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by ryanthewriter, Jul 20, 2014.

  1. ryanthewriter

    Regular Member

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    Hey everyone!

    I'm new here and only within the last couple days admitted to myself that I was bi. I've always known that I was attracted to both boys and girls but it wasn't something I could admit to myself because I so desperately wanted to fit in -- normal/popular guys only liked girls…

    I graduated college a month ago and I've been dealing with some pretty emotional stuff. Timidity about pursuing my chosen career path, unsure about my goals, questioning what I want out of life. And it wasn't until I chiseled my way through that layer of self-doubt was I able to really look inward and think about who I am. The fact that I'm attracted to guys has been staring right at me all my life and I flat out refused to acknowledge it day, by day, by day. After all the tears, the insecurity and paralyzing self-doubt, I'm finally tired of tolerating my own soul-mutilating blindness. It's time to grow up and accept reality. No matter how much you try to look away or put up barriers, reality's always gaping right at you. The all-american staring contest champ…

    Reality's a bitch.

    Mom & Dad live on the other side of the country. It's not like they'd know if I came out publicly in my town but I still can't bring myself to do it yet. I think it's still something I'm having trouble accepting believe it or not. Funny how you think you're taking a massive step but in comparison to most it's nothing more than a baby's. I guess it's something to me…

    Anyway I've come to this forum to help guide me through this…interesting…new development in my life. Hope to talk to lots of great people and hear some great advice.

    Thanks!!!!!!

    -Ryan
     
    #1 ryanthewriter, Jul 20, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2014
  2. Candace

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    Hello and welcome to EC! Please feel free to ask questions and give input as it is highly valued here :slight_smile:.
     
  3. SemiCharmedLife

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    Welcome! You'll find a community of people who have been through many of the same self-doubt and frustration, myself included. Hope you enjoy it here!
     
  4. ryanthewriter

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    Thanks for the warm welcome. Excited to talk to people :grin:. :eusa_clap (&&&) :eusa_clap
     
  5. xylophones

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    Hey Ryan. Welcome to the site! I understand how you feel, we've all been through it; you're not alone! I hope you enjoy your time here.
     
    #5 xylophones, Jul 20, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2014
  6. Gen

    Gen
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    Welcome to EC, Ryan!

    You are definitely not alone in that experience. Bisexuals can absolutely be content in relationships with the opposite sex, but restricting oneself to sticking to a specific lifestyle is not the same as accepting oneself for who they are. It won't always be easy, but life is too short to waste time being what other people expect you to be.
     
  7. C06122014

    C06122014 Guest

    Hey and welcome to EC I hope that you enjoy your time here and that you make new friends who will both advise and support you in your effort to come to terms with your sexual orientation(hopefully I become one of those friends) also I hope that you are able to share both your past and future experiences with this wonderful community and it's equally amazing members :slight_smile:

    Good luck and if you ever need a friend don't hesitate to contact me :slight_smile:
     
  8. happydavid

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  9. lovely lesbian

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  10. Kirsten

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    Wow, I feel like you could be describing my situation (only about men and not about women) it's almost comforting knowing that I'm not alone in this, I hope you find some comfort here too :slight_smile: