Hello EC My name is Marco and I just wanted to introduce myself to everyone. I was a little apprehensive about joining the site because I'm naturally a really shy person, so shy that it seems to extend even to talking over the internet, and this is the first time I've joined a forum. That said, I'm nervous and I'll try not to be so longwinded about this. I first realized that I was gay when I was 14. I was never really bothered by it then and I'm still perfectly fine with it, my life had more important issues: one of my sisters was in a car accident about 17 years ago (the same year I was born), when she was barely two years old and it left her paralyzed, and my family's life has been dedicated to taking the best care of her that we possibly can. But that's all come to an end now. I don't mean to go too far into that part of my life, I could never explain it properly. Language can only go so far and it's too painful to think of... Anyway, lately the idea of coming out has sort of been beating me over the head. Being gay is something I always just kept to myself and wanted to keep to myself. My parents and I don't really talk about personal or emotional things unless we've just finished arguing about something. I know it sounds weird and unhealthy but I just think we've all learned to be a little numb as a defence mechanism because of the tragedy in our lives. So my main concern with coming out is hurting my parents: I don't want to bring any more pain into their lives but I think they deserve to know who their son is. And the worst thing is I have no idea how they would take it because we've barely talked about anything important and I don't know how to talk to my parents, no matter how much I love them. *Sigh* Thanks to anyone who reads this, I feel silly reading it back.
Don't feel silly!!! Well, first of all, welcome to EC! Second, what are your parents reactions to gays in general? Have they ever said anything? If they haven't, you could try mentioning a couple things, and see what they say.
Welcome to EC, Ojala! You may have to find out where your parents stand on the issue of gays by bringing it up in conversation, before coming out There are plenty of helpful people on here if you need advice on anything.
Thanks I always feel silly, it's perpetual lol but I'll try not to. With my parents, it's a weird situation. My mom she has a very good friend who is gay and she and my dad even went to a gay wedding of another of their friends, but whenever I've heard her talk about homosexuality with me she says, it's wrong and it says it in the Qur'an. So, I don't know about you, but that confuses me! She does, however, know how I feel on the subject and doesn't fight me on it. I actually think I got through to her once. So I'm not really sure how she feels about one of her children being gay, because it must be a different feeling than being friends with a gay person. I know that she'll be embarrassed about it though if I do come out, she's cares a lot about what people say. And all I've heard my dad say is that homosexuality is "gross" but I'm pretty sure he meant the idea of him, personally, being with a man: my dad's not very religious and has a general liberal/european attitude with most things. So yeah, confusion is the main thing in my way...
Hi and welcome to EC. You've come to the right place. I'm sorry to hear about your sister. I'm sure that has put quite a strain on your family all these years. Regardless of your specific situation, telling your parents that you're gay is not an easy thing to do. I had trouble doing it at the age of 36! So tell them when you're ready. There's no rush. In the mean time, hang out here with EC members. We've been there so I think you'll be able to relate to a lot of people here.
Hi Marco! Welcome to EC! Glad you joined. I am sorry to hear about your sister. As Jim mentioned, coming out to parents is a difficult thing to do. There is no rush. Take your time and only come out to them when you are ready. From your out-status information it looks like that you are out to a few people already, which is great. Before coming out to your parents try to expand your support network. Your support network can consist of friends, counselors, teachers, EC, etc.... The stronger your support network is, the more confident you will become about yourself, which will help you in getting ready in coming out to your parents. Stick around on EC. With time you will be able to come out to your parents.
Hey Marco! Welcome! I'm sorry to hear that your family has had such a difficult time. You are not the only person here who has endured alot of tragedy in their life so I hope you will find comfort in that. Your parents don't sound so unaccepting. We've heard much worse here from parents. Even if they have made negative remarks in the past, things change when its your own child. Take your time if you are not ready to come out. Talk to people here and hopefully we can all help you as you go through this journey in life.
Wow... so everyone here is awesome! Thank you to all of you and your kind words, I really appreciate it. I know that I am not in too terrible of a situation, I don't fear my parents kicking me out or 'trying to cure me', or anything. I'm just a quiet person and I hate rocking the boat, so to speak. I don't want to be a source of stress/unhappiness for anyone. That said, I will take my time with this and I think I will be hanging around this site for a while Thanks once again to you all.
Konnichiwa and Welcome to empty closets!! I'm sorry to hear about your sister(*hug*)(*hug*) I think you'll find some help that you need! So don't be shy we won't bite Hope to see you around:smilewave:smilewave
Hi Marco! I'm Johanna, and I'm Jazzrawr's mom. I'm sorry about your sister. Like Becky said, you will not be the only one here who has lived with tragedy. We can talk sometime if you like. Be welcome here, and just take your time with your parents. You need to feel right about telling them, whenever that is. It's usually best, when you are dealing with loss, of any kind, to wait awhile before making any changes or taking any big steps. You need to deal with one thing at a time. There are alot of really great people here, and I understand that Becky is a brilliant resource about coming out to parents. Take good care of yourself Marco.
